


The Crown Of These Is Made Of Love And Friendship

by perfect_plan



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Bucky's dad is a jerk, Fluff, M/M, ambiguous setting, bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-11 19:22:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7904602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfect_plan/pseuds/perfect_plan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Barnes is miserable, forced to marry a woman to satisfy his father's will and business ambitions. A chance encounter may prove to be the key to discovering his own happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, it's been too long since I posted! Real-life has been very hectic and although I've got several WIPs on the go (bit of writers block, too many ideas), I thought I would post the longest of them as a two-parter.
> 
> In regards to this fic, I don't know if it works entirely but I didn't want it to go to waste. I'm hoping to finish it and one of my other fics in the next few weeks so hopefully there will be a couple of updates at least!
> 
> This started as a Regency Era fic but it isn't quite one anymore. I'm not sure when it's set really but if you see a bit of Regency and a bit of Victorian Era in there. Maybe it's neither! Either way, I hope you enjoy it! It might also be set in England but it could be America, whatever takes your fancy. I left all of my Us in certain words but again, whatever makes you happiest!
> 
> Hope this is some way enjoyable at least.

The carriage rattled along the dirt road and Bucky gazed out of the window at the countryside, feeling stifled in his best jacket and britches. It was so warm out today and the open windows of the carriage offered little relief. Bucky's father had been reading for the whole journey, not at all bothered by the heat. Bucky glanced at him but then looked away quickly lest his anger get the better of him again; they had already fought this morning about today's trip which was to determine the rest of Bucky's life. It would seem that as of late, Bucky's life was in his father's hands and there was precious little that Bucky could do about it.

George Barnes had always been a dour man, even when Bucky's mother had been alive but since her death, Mr Barnes had become virtually inaccessible when it came to any kind of emotion except for prickliness, anger and cold detachment. Bucky's mother had been a wonderful woman; he had never understood what she saw in his father. Certainly, they were financially stable because of his father's work but his mother had never cared about that, choosing to amuse her children with walks and drawing and simple things. She had been the one to call him Bucky, cribbed from his middle name. She had been warm and caring. His father had always been bitter and harried.

Bucky's sister Rebecca had been wed to one of Mr. Barnes's business associates not long after their mother's passing and was woefully unhappy, living almost a day's carriage ride away. The marriage had been one of convenience to Mr. Barnes, cementing the relationship between his company and that of Rebecca's now-husband. She had clung to Bucky before she left, weeping.

"I will never be happy," she had sobbed. "I wanted to find love on my own. This isn't love."

Bucky had just held her, upset beyond measure because he had known it would happen to him too.

And here they indeed where, on their way to the estate of David and Audrey Carter. The Carters owned the second largest shipyard in the country, the first largest belonging to Mr Barnes. To combine the two would be of great profit to both of them and so it fell to Bucky to marry their daughter Sharon and bring the families and their businesses together. Mr Carter had been more than happy with the agreement. Bucky had no idea what Sharon thought of the whole affair seeing as he had never even met her. He sighed and then instantly regretted it.

"Do not start with that again," Mr Barnes said in a low voice.

Bucky bit his tongue. "Sorry, Father."

Mr. Barnes rattled his papers. "This is for your own good."

Bucky turned once more to the window. "Is it," he said, quietly enough for his father not to hear.

Mr. Barnes was about to say something else when the carriage jerked, rocked and clunked to the side, throwing Bucky and his father out of their seats.

"What is this?" Mr. Barnes fumed, picking himself up. "Driver!" he shouted.

Bucky climbed out of the carriage on his side, jumping down onto the road. Around the other side of the vehicle, the driver was looking at the front wheel. It appeared to have hit a hole in the road and was now firmly stuck. The two horses paced and whinnied as Bucky's father glared and took out his pocket watch.

"I'm sorry, Sir," the driver said, taking off his cap and wiping his forehead. "I'll see if I can get the horses to pull the carriage free."

"We shall be late at this rate," Mr. Barnes muttered angrily, as if this was the poor driver's fault. These back roads were terribly maintained and he had been doing his best the whole journey to avoid such a situation.

Bucky's frustration flared again and he needed to get away from his father and his arrogance and he backed away, ducking through the hedges that lined the road and striding into a lush green field. He started to walk, trying to clear his head.

"James!" his father shouted from beyond the foliage. "James, where are you?"

Bucky ignored his father and started to walk faster, heading towards a small copse. _What if I just kept on walking?_ he thought miserably. _What if I just turned my back and kept on walking?_ It was an absurd thought; he did not have a penny to his name that wasn't his fathers. He was trapped. Trapped in his own life. He suddenly felt unbearably hot, nausea flooding him. He reached the small group of trees and fell into the shade, resting against one of the cool tree trunks, grabbing at his collar to loosen it.

"I cannot do it..." he gasped to himself and breathed heavily, his chest feeling as if in a vice.

There was rattle of leaves above him and he titled his head, expecting to see a bird or squirrel. Instead there was a man, perched on the branches above him. Bucky stumbled back, more embarrassed than shocked, caught in a moment of weakness by a total stranger.

A moment later, the man jumped down from the tree, his arms loaded with plums, a few of the fruits falling to the ground at his feet. He was dressed in commoner's garb - a pair of worn britches too big for him and held up with suspenders over a grubby white shirt. He was shorter than Bucky, with large apologetic blue eyes. A cap covered his head but a small tuft of blond hair poked out from the peak.

"I am sorry," he said quickly. "I did not mean to startle you." He voice was deeper than his stature betrayed.

Bucky quickly fastened his collar and straightened himself. "Do you make a habit of stalking people from trees?"

"No," the man said. "I was here first so by all accounts, _you_ were intruding on me." His mouth quirked in a small grin.

Bucky was taken aback the man's brazen cheek. "How dare y - " he began but dizziness overtook him again and he staggered a little.

The blond man dropped his fruit and caught Bucky in an instant, wrapping an arm about his waist. Despite his height and slight build, he was surprisingly strong. "Easy now. Come and sit."

Bucky forgot his indignation and allowed himself to be led back to the shade. He sat against the tree and the man knelt before him as Bucky wheezed. He reached for Bucky's collar and then stopped.

"May I?"

Bucky nodded and his collar was loosened again. He took huge gulps of air, still not able to quite catch his breath.

"Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth," the blond man said, looking at Bucky. "Believe me, it will work. Just concentrate on the breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth." He prompted Bucky to try.

It did work; within a few moments, Bucky felt his heart returning to a much less thumping pace. He rested his head against the tree and closed his eyes.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Do you feel better?" the man asked.

Bucky opened his eyes. "I seem to have traded a dizzy spell for mortal embarrassment."

The man smiled but it was not mocking. "There is no need for that. I too suffer from occasional spells. Once I was at the farmer's fair and fainted clean away into a cow flop from the heat. Not my finest moment."

Bucky laughed a little, soothed by this stranger's easy nature. "I am sorry I was so rude before."

The blond man shrugged with another grin. "Well, I _was_ stalking you from the tree tops. I saw you walking from beyond the hedges. Did you come from the road?"

"Yes, our carriage ran into some difficulties. I just...needed some air."

The man watched him but did not pry. He picked up one of the plums and handed it to Bucky. "Here, this will make you feel better still. They are very sweet from these particular trees."

Bucky bit into it and the man was right; it was delicious. "Do you hunt plums often?"

The man laughed. "Of course. They are very easy prey but they are not plums, they are damsons. It is easy to confuse the two though." He began to gather the fallen fruit. "I must be on my way. These are for a pie whose very existence depends on their delivery."

Bucky smiled; this gentleman was odd but delightful. He had been under his father's harsh demeanour for so long that he had almost forgotten that joyful people existed.

"Thank you again," Bucky said getting to his feet, indeed felling better for the fruit.

"It was my pleasure. I hope your carriage journey runs smoother from here on."

"I do not," Bucky muttered as he brushed off his coat.

The man considered him for a moment but said nothing. He offered Bucky two more damsons. "For the road."

Bucky took the fruit with a grateful nod and watched the man walk away through the copse to the field beyond. "Oh, I did not ask your name!" he called.

The man turned, walking backwards. "No, you did not!" he called back and then continued walking, not breaking his stride.

Bucky shook his head with a mixture of amusement and confusion before heading back towards the road.

***

His father was furious.

"Where have you been?" he hissed. "We could have done with your help."

"I needed some air," Bucky said simply and climbed back into the carriage.

His father climbed in after him, slamming the door and banging on the roof for the driver to proceed. The carriage swayed along the road and the air inside was stifling once more.

"I have just about had it with your nonsense, James. I will not put up with it for any longer."

"You will not have to," Bucky spat back at him. "I will be living with the Carters soon and then you will have the house all to yourself, _finally_. That is what you have always wanted. Mother is dead, Rebecca is far away and I am almost gone. You can at last spend all of your time with the only person you have ever loved: Yourself."

Bucky's father grabbed him roughly by the arm. "Do not push me, James. Not today." His face was thunder.

Bucky clamped his mouth shut. As much as he tried to spar with his father, he never got the better of him. His father terrified him, as much as he was loathe to admit it. He snatched his arm back and remained sullen for the rest of journey, fighting back tears.

Soon the Carter's formidable estate rose into view; it was a sprawling mansion and grounds set into gorgeous woodland. They also had stables and several acres of farmland. The Carters were respected in the county by rich and poor alike; they were of high social standing but kind and fair, generous with their wages and to work for them was something many aspired to.

Mr Barnes fixed his coat and brushed off his top hat. "Put on your hat," he said stiffly to Bucky.

Bucky picked up his top hat from the chair and put it on. He hated wearing a hat but did as his father asked. Twenty-three years of age and he still put on his hat whenever his father told him too. Resentment washed over him again.

The carriage followed the long driveway up to the house. Bucky tried not to gawp; peacocks walked jauntily in the road, their colourful feathers flashing in the afternoon sun. Soon the carriage reached the house and stopped. A manservant immerged from the house, smiling.

"Mr. Barnes, welcome!" he said. "Please follow me." He nodded hello at Bucky and they walked with him into the hallway of the Carter's home.

It was much much bigger than their own home but it felt lived in and warm; Bucky's own home had felt like an empty shell since his mother's death and Rebecca's departure and his heart ached. _Maybe the house will be one good thing to come of this,_ he thought sadly as he stopped to admire a lovely watercolour of the Carter grounds hanging on the wall.

"Master James?" The manservant's voice snapped Bucky out of his observation of the artwork and he hurried to catch up, ignoring his father's glare.

They were led to the drawing room which was bright and cheerful, filled with lovely furniture, a piano and a huge fireplace. Mr. and Mrs. Carter rose from one of the couches and stepped forward eagerly.

"Welcome!" Mr. Carter said, pumping Mr. Barnes's hand with his own. "So good to see you, George. How was your journey?"

Mr. Barnes flashed the friendly smile that he only ever used on clients and colleagues. "It was fine," he said, omitting the pot hole. "This is such lovely countryside."

Mr. Carter turned to Bucky, his smile genuine and happy. "This must be James! Hello, young man. It's a pleasure to meet you. This is my wife, Audrey."

Bucky took off his hat and gently shook Mrs. Carter's hand. "It is an honor, Mrs. Carter. Thank you so much for having us in your home." Bucky could see the tenseness slipping from his father's shoulders. Bucky may have been petulant in the carriage, but he wasn't about to act like a child in front of these fine people.

Mrs. Carter beamed. "Hello James. I've heard so much about you. Please, come and meet Sharon." She ushered him to the young woman still sitting on the couch.

Sharon stood and shook his hand. She was very pretty, with dark blond hair that was done up in one of the new continental styles that had become popular in the city.

"Hello," she said with a shy smile.

Bucky smiled back, feeling nothing. "Hello Miss Carter."

"Come, sit!" Mr. Carter said and Bucky and his father took the couch opposite. "Coulson, would you please fetch the tea?"

"Certainly," Coulson said and left the drawing room, pulling the door shut behind him.

"We have a lovely dinner planned for later but I thought we could have some tea and refreshments and then go for a walk in the grounds," Mr. Carter said. "Does that suit?"

"That sounds wonderful," Mr. Barnes said and they began talking about their shipyards.

Mrs. Carter listened, interjecting with insights. Bucky could see she was an intelligent woman, not one for sitting meekly while the men discussed business. He had heard that she took a hand in most of the book keeping for the shipyard and admired her greatly for it. Bucky sat quietly, occasionally glancing at Sharon. She merely sat and watched her parents and Mr. Barnes. The chatter turned to mere noise in Bucky's head and he drifted a little, appearing attentive but slipping deeper into melancholy.

Coulson brought in the tea and a selection of fine looking cakes and Bucky sipped his drink and offered some compliments on the iced bun he had chosen. The conversation continued and Bucky tried to hold his cup and saucer steadily, willing his hands not to tremble.

After twenty minutes, the drawing room door opened again and someone hastily entered. "I am so sorry I am late. My sincerest apologies," said a flustered, pleasantly deep voice.

Bucky frowned into his tea a little, the voice jogging him out of his stupor.

Mr. Carter rose again. "Not to worry, my dear boy. Come and meet Mr. Barnes and his son."

Bucky stood up when his father did and turned to face the latecomer. His jaw almost dropped when he saw who it was.

"This Mr. George Barnes and his son, James. This is my adopted ward, Steven," Mr. Carter said proudly.

Standing next to Mr. Carter was the man from the copse. He was now dressed in a fine jacket and britches. He had hair the colour of a cornfield, unencumbered by a hat this time and neatly combed. He looked as surprised as Bucky did to see him, his blue eyes widening slightly. What was he doing here? Bucky had thought him a commoner. He tried not to let his bewilderment show.

"It is a delight to meet you both," Steven said and shook Mr. Barnes's hand. When he shook Bucky's, his eyes twinkled with amusement but he said nothing of their earlier meeting. He took a seat in one of the armchairs and poured himself some tea.

"Were you held up in the library, Steven?" Mrs. Carter asked.

"Yes," Steven said and Bucky could tell he was lying. "I had to check my calculations a few times before I was satisfied. I wish I was stronger with my mathematics."

Mrs. Carter beamed. "I am teaching Steven to be a book keeper."

"A fine profession," Mr. Barnes said and Bucky could hear the barb meant for him. Bucky had wanted to be a teacher but his father had forbidden it, admonishing it to be pauper's career.

"I get a little carried away in the library when I am working," Steve said with a grin. He finally looked at Bucky who guessed he should have been in the library but had in fact been gallivanting about the countryside in clothes below his standing, picking damsons from trees.

"I did not know you had a ward," Bucky's father said.

Mr. Carter poured them some more tea. "Steven's family worked for us for many years and were extremely loyal. After his parent's died, I took him in, offering him the chance to train as an apprentice."

Steven smiled sadly. "The Carter's have been very good to me. I am lucky to have found another family."

"Steven is like the brother I never had," Sharon said, fondly. Her eyes darted to Bucky and then she smiled meekly down at her lap. Bucky tried not to despair; his mother had been a strong, opinionated woman and Rebecca had fought to the last to refuse her marriage. Meekness was not a trait he was used to.

"We are going on a stroll of the grounds shortly, Steven. Will you join us?" Mrs. Carter asked.

Steven nodded. "A break would be most welcome." He did not look at Bucky again, instead concentrating on his tea.

There was more chatter and then Coulson came to clear away the cups and empty plates. Bucky and his father followed Mr. and Mrs. Carter out of the French doors and down the veranda steps to the rose gardens. Steven and Sharon followed behind.

Mr. Barnes listened with feigned interest - Bucky could tell - as Mr. Carter talked about his flowers. As they walked, Mrs. Carter beckoned to Sharon to talk to Mr. Barnes about some of the hybrid seeds they had acquired from overseas and how tricky they could be to grow. Bucky dropped back, his hands clasped behind him. As they continued on through the flower beds, he was aware of someone at his side.

"So, James," Steven said, quietly enough that the others would not hear. "Fancy meeting you here." He gave Bucky a knowing smile. "You looked very surprised to see me earlier."

Bucky composed himself. "Drawing rooms are very different places from fruit trees."

Steven laughed softly. "Yes, they are."

"Why were you there? And why were you dressed as a commoner?" Bucky asked.

"Anna, the cook, wanted to bake a damson pie so I offered to fetch some. I could not very well go climbing trees in my finery, could I? Besides, I was a _commoner_ not too long ago."

"I meant no offence," Bucky said. "I am just...today is shaping up to be a very overwhelming day."

Steven's eyes were understanding. "I take no offence. I can see now why you had your spell earlier."

"Please do not tell anyone," Bucky said, even quieter than they had already been talking.

"I would not do such a thing," Steven said and waved a hand at the flower bed to his left, as if they were chatting about the plants. "It is perhaps not the same as being betrothed to someone for business reasons but I know a little of how it feels to have your life controlled by another."

"You do not like living with the Carters?" Bucky asked.

"They have been very good to me," Steven said a little sadly, "but book keeping was not what I wanted of my life."

Bucky wanted to ask him what he _did_ want of his life but Mrs. Carter turned to him with a bright smile. "James, come and walk with Sharon."

Bucky turned to Steven and nodded before walking next to Sharon behind Mr. Barnes and Mr. Carter. They said nothing to each other and Bucky willed himself not to break into a run and leave this place for where would he go?

***

It was almost time for dinner when they had walked the grounds and when they got back to the house, the dining room was prepared with a fine meal of roast pheasant. Bucky tried to enjoy the food, which was delicious, but every mouthful felt like paper sticking in his throat. He smiled and nodded along with the conversations - how fashion was changing, a new type of farming technique that was sweeping the nation - but his mind was adrift with worry and despair. At one point, he took a large sip of his wine and saw Steven watching him. He offered Bucky a small reassuring smile.

After dinner, they retired to the drawing room again for coffee and dessert, which was the damson pie that Steven had gathered the fruit for. It was delicious. Bucky sat with his father who had been looking more and more pleased with himself, obviously thinking that shunting Bucky at the Carters had been an excellent idea.

"Sharon, how about you play us a piece on the piano?" Mr. Carter suggested.

Sharon smiled and walked over to the grand piano in the corner, sitting on the small bench and looking through some sheet music.

"Sharon is an excellent pianist," Mrs. Carter said to Bucky. "She has been playing since she was seven years old."

"That is most commendable," was all Bucky could think to say.

"Steven can play too," Mr. Carter said. "We are never short of tunes in this household!" He laughed merrily, his cheeks pink from too much wine.

Steven smiled modestly. "I am not as accomplished as Sharon."

"I would like to hear you play," Bucky heard himself saying and Steven looked to him in surprise.

"I...perhaps, when Sharon is finished," he said.

Mrs. Carter clapped her hands. "Oh wonderful! It is like our very own concert."

Bucky glanced at Steven over the rim of his coffee cup. The look on Steven's face was hard to decipher. He seemed to be amused and annoyed in equal measure.

Sharon was indeed a fantastic pianist and she played a few popular pieces - jaunty and meant for dancing - graceful and poised, her face set in a peaceful smile, fingers handling the keys with skill. When she had finished, everyone clapped and she returned to her seat, looking down at her lap.

"Off you go, Steven. Do not think that we have forgotten you!" Mr. Carter said with a grin.

Steven stood and fixed his jacket. Bucky couldn't help but notice that he seemed embarrassed, wringing his hands as he walked over to the piano. Bucky was starting to feel a little rotten for having put him on the spot the way he had but then Steven started to play.

It was true - he was far less skilled than Sharon but he played with more passion, his personality almost apparent in the music as he performed a slightly sombre, dramatic piece, the music appearing more _real_ to Bucky than Sharon's pieces had done. His back was straight and his face serious, his jaw set in determination. Bucky noticed that he wasn't playing from any sheet music either and he could not help but be more impressed than he had with Sharon's performance. He put his coffee cup down and watched. The piece was obviously very important to Steven, Bucky could see that much on his face.

When he finished, everyone clapped again and Bucky tried to catch Steven's eye as he sat, maybe to offer a silent apology, but Steven just sat and listened to the rest of the conversation with his eyes fixed downwards.

"Well, I suppose we should get down to the matter of your visit," Mr. Carter finally said and Bucky's heart sank.

"Yes indeed," Mr. Barnes replied and Bucky hated the smugness in his voice.

Mr. Carter turned to his wife. "My dear, would you and Sharon please take your leave while we discuss business matters?"

"Of course," Mrs. Carter said but she looked as though she would rather stay and join in. "It was so lovely to meet you, James."

Bucky stood and took her hand. "The pleasure was all mine, Mrs. Carter."

Sharon smiled at him again and Bucky smiled back, willing his mouth to make the correct movements. Steven rose from his seat too.

"I have some work to finish in the library so I will also take my leave. It was an honour to meet you both." He shook Mr. Barnes's hand and then Bucky's, finally meeting his eyes. "I hope we will meet again, either indoors or outdoors," he said and his eyes twinkled again.

"I...yes. I hope so too," Bucky said, a little flustered, remembering the field and trees this morning.

Steven left the room after Mrs. Carter and Sharon, closing the door behind him.

"What did he mean by that, indoors or outdoors?" Mr. Barnes asked, taking a cigar that was offered to him.

"I do not know," Bucky said weakly.

Mr. Carter laughed. "Oh, do not mind Steven. He is an odd one, I will say. Do not get me wrong, he is a wonderful ward and an adequate book keeper but he is somewhat of a dreamer."

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked and ignored the angry glare his father threw him.

Mr. Carter was not put out by the question. "Steven...needs a push when it comes to practical work. He likes to read, so much so that he can spend a day in the library and accomplish nothing but devour book after book. He is a keen astronomer and spends more time gazing at the sky than he does the numbers set before him. He is also a wonderful artist - he painted the watercolour in the hall - but that will not earn him or my company any money I am sad to say."

Bucky thought that reading and art were more than worthy traits for a gentleman to have but said nothing.

"Steven will serve me well as a book keeper but nothing more and that is fine; my wife has grown very fond of him and I am happy to indulge her in making him a productive member of this family. This is why I am so very happy that our agreement to marry your son to my daughter has presented itself; I would very much like to train James in becoming my successor."

Bucky did not think that his world could grind to halt even more so than it already had. He had been growing slightly angry at Mr. Carter's very blasé dismissal of Steven and his interests but this was a further blow to him: His fate had already been truly sealed.

"Wonderful," his father proclaimed and Bucky could not bring himself to look at him. This is what he had wanted all along, for Bucky to be _useful_ to him in some manner. "Well, James? What do you say to Mr. Carter and his most generous proposal?"

Bucky gathered himself and smiled at Mr. Carter. "Thank you, Mr. Carter. I am extremely honoured."

They had drinks to celebrate and then it was time for them to leave. They said goodbye to Mrs. Carter and Sharon and Bucky was a little disappointed that Steven did not come to fare them well.

"Well, I think that went splendidly," Mr. Barnes said with a puffed chest as soon as they were in the carriage and on their way home.

It was early evening and starting to get dark. Bucky stared forlornly out of the window but it was too dark to see anything. "Yes," he said, not willing to anger his father further by staying silent.

"I think Sharon will make a decent enough wife but our business union with the Carters will see us in good stead for a long time."

"Yes, Father."

Mr. Barnes continued to talk and Bucky tried to focus on the one good thing that had come of the day: The rather intriguing young gentlemen named Steven.

***

Over a week passed by and all was silent about the marriage. Mr. Barnes was busy at his shipyard and Bucky was spending as much time as he could helping at the local school. Now that his dream of becoming a teacher was well and truly dashed, he was desperate to make the most of the time he had with the children, helping them with their writing and mathematics.

Then on the following Wednesday, as Bucky was writing a letter to his friend Clinton at the bureau in the study, his father proclaimed, "A carriage is on its way to take you to the Carter estate. Myself and Mr. Carter agreed that you and Sharon need to spend more time together and get better acquainted."

Bucky's heart sank once more. So far, apart from dinner at the Carter's, the marriage between he and Sharon had somehow still seemed distant, something that whilst a constant niggle in his mind, was still far enough away not to think about.

"I...today?" Bucky stammered.

Mr. Barnes threw him an icy glare, casting his eyes across Bucky's correspondence set. "So you have something far more important to do?"

Bucky looked down. "No sir." He hastily signed the letter to Clinton and stuffed it into an envelope, hastily writing the address. There was also a letter to his sister and it still pained him to address the letter to Rebecca Proctor instead of Rebecca Barnes.

"Smarten yourself up," was all his father had left to say before he left the room.

Bucky swallowed down the sudden flare of anger and went to his room to change. He wasn't dressed shoddily by any means but apparently now only his finery would do. He begrudgingly picked up his top hat and went to wait in the drawing room. Theirs was much smaller than the Carter's and had no piano. Bucky stood by the fireplace and looked at the photographs on the mantle. He picked up his favourite, in a heavy gilt frame, of his mother, he and his sister sitting out in the garden when he had been about eleven, he guessed. They all looked so happy. More so because his father had been away on a business trip that day and the oppressive air that usually followed him around like a thick fog had been lifted and their spirits with it.

"Oh, Mother," Bucky said quietly. "I miss you."

The bell in the hallway rang and Bucky put the picture carefully back on the mantle.

"James!" his father bellowed from somewhere in the house.

Bucky did not even answer him, just opened the front door and followed the smiling driver to the Carter's carriage.

***

When they arrived at the Carter estate, Coulson was outside to greet him.

"Welcome back, Mr. Barnes," he said with a pleasant smile. "I'm afraid that something has come up; a fitting appointment for Miss Sharon's dress was suddenly made available and Mr. and Mrs. Carter have taken her into the city. They send their deepest apologies as the carriage was already on its way to collect you but they will be back for dinner this evening. The house is at your disposal."

Dread surged through Bucky as he followed Coulson into to the grand hallway; a dress fitting. A _wedding_ dress fitting. Today seemed to be the day for all of this to slap him about the face with its reality. He took out his pocket watch. It was only a quarter to one. It was a long while until dinner. "That is no bother," he lied. "Um, would you suggest anywhere I can wait?"

"Well, we would not want you to grow bored," Coulson smiled. "Master Steven is in the library working. I'm sure he would not mind if you joined him. Have you had lunch?"

Bucky's interest suddenly returned. "No, but I do not want to put anyone out..."

"It is no bother at all. Please go on through." Coulson indicated to a large door down another smaller hallway.

"Thank you," Bucky said and started to walk.

The library was breath-taking, with high ceilings and rows of shelves filled with books and large windows to catch the daytime sun. There were several desks scattered about with chairs and a few plush armchairs. _Oh well, at least I will be to hide in here when I am married_ , Bucky thought grimly. He looked around for Steven and finally spotted him, curled up on one of the window seats, a large volume resting on a cushion in his lap.

"Hello there," Bucky said.

Steven looked up, surprised. "Oh! Hello James." He smiled and it was genuine and welcoming. Bucky felt his dread abate a little. "I had no idea you were visiting today."

Bucky took off his hat and took a seat on the covered bench. There was a lovely view of the garden. "It was a last minute trip. So much so that my hosts are not even here."

"Ah," chuckled Steven. "That is unfortunate. I am happy to provide some kind of company for you until they return?"

There was an air of mischief about Steven that intrigued Bucky. He was somewhat of a conundrum: a commoner turned ward to a shipyard baron, yet he seemed to maintain a somewhat humble air about him.

"You do not have work?" Bucky asked.

"I am finished for the day, I am glad to report, and indulging in my true interests."

Bucky nodded to the huge tome on Steven's lap. "What are you reading?"

Steven turned the book around and Bucky recognised the Argonauts in a lush black and white illustration on the page. "Greek mythology is one of my favourite subjects," he said excitedly. "Are you familiar?"

"I know of a few tales. Mr. Carter mentioned that you also enjoy astronomy?"

"Yes, very much," Steven said. His eyes were bright and he looked pleased that Mr. Carter had told Bucky and his father such a thing. Bucky didn't have the heart to tell him the entire context in which the subject had been brought up. "I have a telescope that my parents gave me and I chart the night sky whenever the weather permits. On a clear night, there is nothing quite like gazing at the stars. It can make one truly feel very small." His face clouded with sadness for the briefest of moments before he placed his book beside him, smiling again. "I was thinking about going for a walk after lunch in the grounds. Would you care to join me?"

"I did not bring any other clothes with me if tree climbing is to be part of this jaunt," Bucky said, trying to keep a straight face.

Steven was trying to keep his own grin from taking over his face. "I do not think that will be necessary, Mr. Barnes."

They took lunch in the library - tea and sandwiches - making pleasant small talk. Steven was very easy to chat to and the trepidation that had been winding through Bucky like dark tendrils was starting to fade. He almost wished he was just here to visit with Steven.

After they had eaten and Steven had insisted on returning the lunch crockery to the kitchen himself, they slipped outside into the flower garden. There were clouds overhead but it was warm and they strolled with no real purpose.

"How long have you been Mr. Carter's ward?" Bucky asked.

"Five years now," Steven said, running the palm of his hand over some carnations. "My family had a small house in the grounds beyond the stables. They had been working here for generations and I suppose Mr. Carter, knowing that I was the last of the Rogers, wanted to give me a chance for something more when my parents died. It was important to me to keep my name if I were to be adopted."

Bucky could smell the sweet jasmine as they passed. "You seem...somewhat old to be adopted, if you don't mind me saying."

Steven chuckled. "Yes. I'm happy to have found another family at the old age of twenty-two." He sighed. "I miss my parents terribly, though."

"How did they die?" Bucky asked.

"Consumption," Steven said quietly. "Within three days of each other."

"I am so sorry," Bucky said. "I...my mother died when I was fifteen."

Steven nodded. "Mr. Carter told me. I am also sorry for your loss," he said sincerely.

"I often think that all of the joy left our house the day she died." Bucky looked down at the path beneath his feet.

"I feel the same. I try to keep my parents in my heart and remember something about them every day. It never truly stops hurting, does it?"

Bucky had become accustomed to the grief that had settled in his chest since that day. "No. I am...I am glad you understand, Steven."

"Steve," he said softly.

"Pardon me?"

Steven smiled sadly. "My parents used to call me Steve. No-one else calls me that."

"My mother used to call me Bucky."

"Bucky?" Steven said, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "I know. It is silly, a childhood nickname. My mother's maiden name, Buchanan, is my middle name and she liked to call me that. She wanted Buchanan as my Christian name but my father insisted upon _his_ father's name. I...miss being called Bucky."

"I would like to call you Bucky," Steven said.

Bucky met his eyes. "That would be lovely, Steve."

They both laughed softly and continued walking, out of the flower garden now and towards the orchard. Steve pointed out things of interest: What fruit the Carter's grew and how often it was harvested, the different types of grass and plants that grew and the kind of wildlife it attracted. His voice was pleasant and Bucky was happy just to listen. When they exited the orchard, Steve stopped and his shoulders slumped. Bucky followed his gaze; hidden amongst some trees across a small field, the roof of a small cottage could be seen. The surrounding area was overgrown and ill-kempt; it had obviously been neglected for a long time.

"What is that place?" Bucky asked.

Steve brushed his hair from his eyes. "My old home," he said quietly.

"Oh. I am sorry."

Steve shook his head and turned away. "Do not apologise. I have not been here for a while. I was caught out by some memories."

"Good ones, I hope?" Bucky asked softly.

Steve took one last look at the cottage hidden in the trees. "Always," he said.

They changed course from the little run-down house and headed towards a small dirt track and while they were both silent as they walked, it was not uncomfortable. That was one of the things that struck Bucky most about Steve; he almost felt like he could divulge his innermost secrets and trust that Steve would not judge him nor tell anyone else.

"This is beautiful," Bucky said as they strolled and he waved a hand generally to indicate the Carter's land. "I am lucky that I will get to walk these grounds often when...when I live here."

"How do you feel about marrying Sharon?" Steve asked and it was such a blunt question that Bucky was momentarily taken aback.

He considered saying what his father expected him to say: I am very lucky, I am very honoured. But he could not say what was expected, what was polite. He was so tired of holding back his true feelings.

"Angry. Scared." He swallowed. "Hopeless."

"Sharon is a good person. I've known her my whole life but I can imagine that having the choice of who you get to spend the rest of your life with taken away from you must feel awful."

"How...how am I supposed to _learn_ to love someone?" Bucky asked, looking to Steve with desperation. "How..." He could feel his chest tightening again, his breath leaving him as it had the first day he had met Steve.

Steve stopped them both and put his hands on Bucky's shoulders. "It is alright," he said. "Just breathe, Bucky."

Just hearing Steve use his childhood nickname eased the panic. "I am sorry," he choked. He seemed to be apologising for everything. "I just...this is not what I wanted."

"I understand," Steve said and Bucky truly felt that he did. He stepped back, letting Steve's hands slide from his shoulders and hastily wiped his eyes and continued to walk.

"Do you have a marriage proposal arranged?" Bucky asked, not wanting to wallow.

Steve chuckled and there was little humour in it. "No. Mr. Carter is not as eager to try and wed me to a colleague's daughter. My future seems to be heading towards that of a spinster."

"I thought only ladies could be spinsters."

Steve smiled wryly. "Then I shall be the first gentleman. I am hardly what the fairer sex would call a _catch_ ; my height sets me at a great disadvantage. I do not think a woman would like a partner that she is most likely to trip over."

"Surely there is someone out there that will see beyond the physical?" Bucky said. He did not think that Steve was unattractive; his skin was flawless and pale but not to the point of sickliness. His nose and jaw were strong and defined and his smile was never false. His blue eyes were intelligent and honest. Certainly, he was short and slight but those were not terrible things to be.

Steve shrugged one shoulder. "Perhaps. I will admit that I stopped hoping for such a thing a long time ago."

Bucky wanted to argue otherwise but Steve seemed to wish to end this particular strand of the conversation. They continued to walk the grounds and their discussions turned away from such personal matters. Bucky was glad that he and Steve had connected though; it felt good to be able to confide in someone.

***

When they finally made it back to the house, the Carters had returned. Coulson took them to the drawing room where Mr. Carter greeted Bucky warmly.

"There they are! Has Steven commandeered you for his own nefarious means, James?" He laughed uproariously.

Bucky smiled and shook Mr. Carter's hand. "I was a willing collaborator."

"We are so sorry to have called upon you to visit only to leave you in the lurch as soon as you arrived," Mrs. Carter said, a tad embarrassed. "Only, appointments from this particularly dress shop are hard to come by and Sharon simply had to take them up on it. Oh, the dress is _divine_." She smiled dreamily. "James, you are in for a treat."

Bucky thought Mrs. Carter somewhat of a contradiction: He knew she was a skilled business woman and wondered why she was so keen to merely see Sharon as someone's wife rather than a success in her own right. Perhaps Sharon herself was not that way inclined and this was the best that Mrs. Carter could do for her.

Mr. Carter laughed loudly again and slapped Bucky on the back. Sharon simply stood next to her mother, staring at the floor, her cheeks flushing pink. Bucky had no idea how to respond to the statement and floundered helplessly.

"I do believe I can hear the kitchen staff setting up the dining room for dinner," Steve said, saving Bucky from having to reply.

"Wonderful," Mr. Carter said and walked off towards the dining room

Bucky had time to give Steve a smile of thanks before he followed Mrs. Carter and Sharon. Steve joined them which was of great relief to Bucky; he would not feel as awkward at the table were it just he and the Carters.

"So what did you boys get up to today?" Mrs. Carter asked as she cut her venison.

"We had a most pleasant walk around the grounds," Steve said.

"Yes," Bucky said. "I enjoyed myself."

Mrs. Carter smiled. "I am very happy that you two get along. It will do Steven good to have a friend."

Steve looked down at the table, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Working for our family for so long, Steven was home schooled by his parents and never really had any acquaintances," Mr. Carter said, focussed on his dinner. "He has always been a bit of a loner."

"Not by choice," Steve said stiffly. Mr. and Mrs. Carter seemed unaware that they had maybe offended him and continued to talk and eat. Sharon put her hand over Steve's and squeezed for a moment before getting back to her own food. Bucky liked her a little more for that.

Mrs. Carter was about to say something else but Bucky interjected before she could. "I saw that you have apiaries. Do you sell the honey you produce?" He already knew that they did because Steve had told him.

Mr. Carter launched into a long diatribe about their honey and Steve met Bucky's eyes for a moment, thanking him silently before fixing his gaze on his food for the rest of the meal.

***

"Coulson, could you please take some dessert and tea through to the drawing room for Sharon and James? We will finish ours in here," Mrs. Carter said with a sly grin. Sharon's cheeks flushed pink.

Coulson gathered the things together and left the dining room. Sharon got up and followed and Bucky steeled himself, rising from the table and straightening his jacket. He turned to Steve.

"Thank you for an interesting day, Steven."

Steve stood and smiled warmly. "You are most welcome, James." There was that mischievous look in his eyes again; they would be Bucky and Steve only to each other.

Bucky walked through to the drawing room, his feet heavy. What on earth was he supposed to talk about with Sharon? They had barely said two words to each other, but then again perhaps this was the point of Mrs. Carter's suggestion. Sharon was sitting on one of the couches and poured some tea for Bucky when he entered. Coulson finished serving out two slices of cake and left the room, closing the door behind him. Sharon's hand trembled slightly as she set Bucky's cup and saucer down and Bucky realised the she must be feeling just as nervous as he was. He thanked her for the tea and they sat together in a stilted silence.

"It was nice," Sharon blurted out after a moment. "Changing the subject for Steven earlier. Mother and Father mean well, they really do, but sometimes I think that they forget that Steven is a person with feelings and not just some poor wretched commoner they saved single-handed from poverty." There was a sardonic tone to her voice and Bucky felt a glimmer of hope; maybe he had unfairly underestimated Sharon.

"He seemed to be very uncomfortable," Bucky said. "I do not think he resents your parents intentions at all but I feel like they struck a raw nerve."

Sharon sighed. She really was very pretty. "Steven is proud and terribly polite. He would never tell my parents had they overstepped their bounds. He really should but it is not in his nature. I have always admired and envied him for those traits. I wish I were as good a person."

"To think of him in such a way tells me you are," Bucky said and Sharon's smile in return was surprised and bright.

"We have been friends since we were children. We would sneak away and play for hours when I should have been studying and he should have been helping his parents. I had the most blinding crush on him," she giggled. "I do not now, of course," she hastily added. "He never appeared to feel the same way so I made do with having a good friend who knew all of the places to find the best fruit."

Bucky smiled because that still seemed to be true now. "He is a very smart fellow."

Sharon sighed. "He really is. Too smart to be a book keeper. He can draw and write and he knows something about everything. I sometimes feel that even though my parents have given him so much, they have also taken a lot away from him. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes," Bucky said quietly. He really had misjudged Sharon; without her parents here to crowd her and talk for her, she was articulate and animated. While he didn't think that he could ever love her, he thought that he could maybe like her.

"His parents were so lovely," Sharon said sadly. "I do not know how he remains so strong. But whenever I undergo moments of doubt or fear, I only have to think of Steven and I find that I can compose myself again."

Bucky smiled, genuinely this time. "He has been a good influence on you."

Sharon laughed. "Oh, not always! He landed me in plenty of trouble." She proceeded to tell him stories from her childhood, of adventures with Steve that more often than not ended with her covered in mud or with brambles tangled in her hair. Bucky laughed along with her, charmed by her tales - she had a knack for telling anecdotes - and for the first time since his father had decided upon his future, thought that this whole arrangement may not be the worst thing.

Coulson knocked and came in to let Bucky know that the carriage was ready to take him home. Bucky looked at his pocket watch.

"It is nine o'clock," he said, surprised that the time had flown by so quickly. "I had a lovely time, Miss. Carter."

Sharon smiled. "I did too, Mr. Barnes."

Mrs. Carter came into the room then. "Well, I hope you two became a little more acquainted with each other." Her smile was wide and expectant.

Sharon rose from the couch and became demure again. "Yes, Mother."

"James, we would very much like to have you and your father over for dinner one evening to discuss the engagement party."

Bucky's chest tightened once more. "En-engagement party?"

"Why, yes!" Mrs. Carter laughed. "You cannot be set to wed and not have an engagement party. We need to discuss numbers and all sorts so could you please give this to your father." She handed him an envelope.

An engagement party. Bucky had not thought this would be such a big affair but of course it would be. His family was in good standing generally and the Carters were considered very high society. Of course there would be a huge announcement and soirée. He just nodded dumbly and followed Mrs. Carter out into the entry hall.

Mr. Carter was waiting. "James, it has been a pleasure. We are looking forward to seeing you here more often before the wedding."

Bucky shook Mr. Carter's hand stiffly. "Likewise, Sir." He glanced around but Steve was nowhere to be seen. He would have liked to have said goodbye.

"Steven sends his apologies but he was feeling a little under the weather after dinner and took to his room," Mr. Carter said, as if reading Bucky's thoughts.

"Oh. Is he alright?"

"Oh, I am sure he is. Please give my regards to your father."

Bucky said his goodbyes and soon was on his way home. In the carriage he had time to think about Sharon. He really did have a lovely evening with her and would be loathe to admit it to his father when he returned.

It was only as he was drawing near to his house that he realised the reason he had such a nice visit with Sharon was because they had talked about Steve the entire time.  
  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Bucky and Steve find their happy ending?

Nothing could have prepared Bucky for the absolute chaos that would ensue in the next week for the upcoming engagement party. As soon as he gave his father the letter from the Carters, he seemed to be caught up in a maelstrom of dinners, invitation writing, suit fittings and his father's overbearing smugness. News of the engagement party spread and to get an invitation was a statement on ones popularity. The bigger and more elaborate it grew - the more exotic the menu became, the larger the guest list grew - Bucky felt as though he was falling to the bottom of a deep, dark lake, the light above him growing fainter and fainter. He could not have cared less about what flowers would adorn the tables, what favours the guests should receive.

Four days after his last dinner with the Carters, he was being driven to back to the estate to discuss entertainment for the party. He was exhausted; he had spent the morning in the city having several new garments altered and did not want to spend the afternoon further discussing the engagement party. Bucky slumped in his seat wishing that the carriage ride would take twice as long.

The main hallway of the Carter house was awash with activity, people rushing back and forth carrying food and fabrics and decorations. Bucky saw Coulson, usually so composed and calm, harried and red in the face, speaking angrily to one of the kitchen staff. Bucky merely stood, not knowing what do with himself. He was seriously considering slipping away when someone grabbed him by the arm.

"Mr. Barnes, good to see you." Before he could say anything, Steve was dragging him quickly through to the library. His closed the doors behind him and the noise and bustle from the hallway was immediately cut off.

Steve leaned against the doors and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. It has been an absolute _madhouse_ here the last few days." He smiled. "You looked very lost so I took it upon myself to rescue you. I hope you do not mind."

Bucky took off his hat and swiped his sleeve across his forehead. "Thank you. I..." He closed his eyes and took a breath.

Steve stepped forward and guided him to the window seat. "Are you alright? Here, take off your jacket."

"I always seem to make a fool out of myself in front of you," Bucky said as he loosened his tie. "If I am not swooning, I am miserable."

"I do not think that at all, Bucky," Steve said and Bucky was grateful to hear his nickname. "I have been on the outside of this mayhem; I cannot imagine what it is like to be in the middle of it."

"This is simply the engagement party," Bucky said. "I do not wish to think what the wedding will entail." His stomach rolled at the thought.

"Welcome to the Carter family," Steve said wryly. "Things are never done by any half measure."

Bucky rested his head against the window. "It is all very overwhelming."

"Well, I make it my business to avoid all of the excitement and drama of the house and I do a rather good job of being forgotten and left to my own devices. If ever you need to not be noticed, simply come and find me," he joked.

"I would rather come and find you before I had to speak to anyone else," Bucky said before he could think better of himself. It was the truth.

Steve blinked in surprise and a smile that struck Bucky as sad and pleased in equal measure played on his lips. "I...that is kind of you to say. People do not make it a habit to put visiting me high on their agendas." His voice was slightly less confident than before.

"Really?" Bucky asked.

Steve glanced out of the window, his mouth twisted. "Even though I am now part of a wealthy family, I'm still seen as a commoner by the elite." He gave a sardonic laugh. "And now a lot of the people with whom I _was_ acquainted when I was a commoner see me as too affluent. I do not seem to fit anywhere anymore."

Bucky was overcome by sadness. "That sounds like a lonely life," he said softly.

Steve met his eyes. "It is." He seemed to catch himself in his sorrow and shook his head a little. "I must appear so ungrateful. I have been given a chance at a good life and here I sit complaining."

"You do not appear that way to me," Bucky said. He pointed at the large book next to Steve. "Still lost in your Greek mythologies?"

Steve brightened. "Yes, very much. I was stargazing last night and have been reading about Cassiopeia. Do you know the constellation?"

"I am afraid I know very little of astronomy," Bucky said.

"Maybe one evening I could show you," Steve said, almost shyly. "The night sky is a great passion of mine and I do not really have anyone to share it with."

Bucky had very few close friends; Clinton lived far to the North and Samuel was currently overseas. They wrote to each other often but it was not the same. He wanted a friend who would understand for certain what he was going through. Well, more than that, he _needed_ a friend.

"That would be wonderful," he said and the smile Steve gave him in response made him feel dizzy.

Before he could acknowledge the sensation, the library door burst open and a very flustered Mrs. Carter hurried in.

"Steven," she called. "I need your help. James arrived a little while ago and nobody has seen him since - " she stopped when she saw them both sitting on the window seat. "Oh, James! Thank goodness! I am so terribly sorry you were not greeted earlier."

Bucky rose from his seat. "It is fine; everybody looked so busy I thought I would step away for a moment or two."

Mrs. Carter smiled with relief. "Well, we need you and Sharon to discuss the music and dancing for the party. Will you please come through to the drawing room?"

Bucky nodded and followed her out, turning to look back at Steve and give him a nod of thanks.

Steve gave Bucky that strange little sad smile back in return and picked up his book.

***

Before Bucky knew it, the engagement party was upon them and he was being driven with his father to the Carter estate on a Friday afternoon. The arrangement was for them to stay the next two nights at the Carter house so the wedding and business proposals could be looked at and planned in earnest. The weather was lovely; sunny but not too hot, with blue skies and just a wisp of cloud.

Rebecca had not been able to make the party as she was away on a business trip with her husband, which had only added to Bucky's misery. She was the only other family he really had.

Bucky's stomach had been churning for weeks and, now that the big event was finally here, was a constant rolling mess. He pulled at his collar, too tight around his neck.

"Leave your collar alone," Mr. Barnes snapped. "Must you always act like a petulant child?"

"I only act like one because you treat me like one," Bucky retorted angrily. Now that his father had what he wanted from him, Bucky did not have qualms about talking back. "Arranging my marriage for me, constantly telling me to tidy myself. Have you ever had any faith in me?"

His father turned to face him and rather than the fury that Bucky had expected, he was met with only an icy coldness. "No. Do you want to know why? Because you are entirely unremarkable just like your sister. God knows with whom each of you would have ended up marrying had I not stepped in and made sure that it was with someone partially successful. Your mother was too soft on the both of you, thinking you something special when you are no better in intelligence or manner than that of a commoner."

Bucky sat aghast; his father had never said such a thing to him before. So this was what he truly thought.

Mr. Barnes fixed his tie. "I often wondered if you and your sister were even my progeny. I never loved your mother and she certainly only ever had affection for you and Rebecca." He turned to the window, crossing his leg, completely calm. "The sooner you are married to the Carter girl, the better."

Bucky would later wish he could have said one of a hundred things but he was dumb with shock. How could his father suggest such a thing about his mother? She had been nothing but a sweet, caring woman, devoted to her children and aloof husband. His throat was tight with upset and he turned and looked out of his own window, swallowing his rage and distress to mingle the fear and hopelessness in his gut.

They sat in silence for the rest of the journey and Bucky tried to compose himself as best he could as they approached the Carter estate; it would not do him well to break down now.

The estate was heaving with carriages and guests and Bucky's nerves set in once again. He did not know any of these people. Their bags were taken to their quraters and they were shown through to the ball room and all the while Bucky looked desperately for Steve. His father stopped to talk with some business acquaintances. Finally, Bucky caught sight of Steve over by one of the tall windows, talking and laughing with Sharon and a beautiful brown-haired woman. He looked particularly striking in a dark blue coat and britches. Sharon looked lovely in a pale lilac dress whereas the brown-haired woman was wearing a quite shocking shade of red.

Steve smiled as soon as he saw Bucky approach. "Here he is! The gentleman of the hour to join the lady of the hour."

Sharon turned and smiled. "Hello, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky took off his hat and gave her a little bow. "You look lovely, Miss. Carter."

"James Barnes, this is my cousin, Margaret Carter." She motioned to the other woman who immediately held out her hand as a gentleman would.

"I am so pleased to meet the man good enough to wed my beloved cousin. Just be warned: I you hurt her in any way I will not hesitate to make you regret it for the rest of your life."

Steve barked out a laugh and Sharon turned the same shade of pink as some of the roses in the garden.

"Peggy!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, I am sure James knows that I am joking," Peggy said with a glint in her eyes.

Bucky was about to say something when Mrs. Carter started to wave at Sharon and Peggy. "Girls! Come, you simply must meet Mr. Pierce!"

Peggy hissed under her voice. "Ugh, that arrogant narcissist. Come, Sharon. I will show you what a fabulous actress I can be." She winked at Steve and Bucky and took Sharon by the hand. Sharon gave Bucky an apologetic smile and trotted after her cousin.

Steve smiled at Bucky. "So, here is your engagement party."

"Yes," Bucky said and looked around at all the people he did not know, bewildered. "It will take all I have to get through the day." He took a drink as it was offered to him. "You look very nice."

Steve blinked. "I...thank you."

Bucky sipped at his punch. "Margaret seems interesting."

Steve smiled affectionately. "Yes, she really is. I've known her almost as long as I have Sharon. She lives in the city."

Bucky watched as she talked to a very priggish looking man, coyly touching his arm and obviously telling him what he wanted to hear. She caught his eye and winked again.

Steve chuckled. "She is a lot of fun to be around." He turned to Bucky. "How are you feeling?" His voice was soft, his eyes concerned. Bucky was aware of that odd dizzying sensation again.

"I am not sure what I feel, to be perfectly honest. This is not...all of this...this is not _me_ ," he said quietly.

Steve was watching him and was about to say something when Mr. Carter's voice boomed throughout the room.

"Ladies and Gentleman, dinner is served! Please make your way through to the banquet hall!"

Dinner was a lavish affair and Bucky sat, feigning interest in the conversations around him, trying his best to seem present, all the while his father's terrible words replayed over and over in his mind. Sharon was sitting to his right and Steve to his left which left him with a feeling of relief. There was a lot food and fine desserts and speeches. Mr. Carter said how proud he was to be joining his family with the Barnes's. Bucky's father gave a speech that seemed to impress all but his son. He knew what his father _really_ thought of the whole arrangement. Bucky and Sharon were toasted - neither of them were asked to say anything, thank goodness - and then everyone was ushered into the ballroom to await the entertainment. Sharon was whisked away by her giggling friends and Bucky hoped to find Steve again. He caught sight of him over by one of the large windows, talking seriously with Peggy, his brow furrowed. Peggy was listening, a look almost like disapproval on her face. Rather than interrupt them, Bucky slipped out of the ballroom, seeking just a moment to himself. He felt a great numbness settle upon him, as if all of this was not real.

The library was quiet and dark, the evening moonlight casting shadows through the tall windows. Bucky made his way silently to the window seat. Steve's book of Greek mythology was still there and Bucky was about to have a look within its pages when someone else came into the library. Couldn't he just get one single moment to himself?

"Bucky?" It was Steve, his voice lowered. Bucky breathed out in relief.

"I am here, by the window," Bucky replied and Steve emerged from the shadows by one of the book stacks. He sat down next to Bucky.

"Are you alright?"

Bucky nodded. "I just needed a moment. Are they asking after me?"

"Not yet," Steve said. "Can I share your moment with you?"

A real smile touched Bucky's lips. "Of course."

They stayed for a few moments in the silent room, not speaking. Bucky collected himself.

"Are you ready to go back?" Steve asked him gently.

Bucky rose to his feet. "Yes. Thank you, Steve."

They walked out of the library together and back to the throng of people.

***

It was during the middle of a dance that things took an unexpected turn for Bucky. There were ten couples, including Sharon and himself, dancing to a song being played on the piano by yet another woman Bucky did not know; an upbeat, jolly ditty that had everyone laughing and trying to keep up with their partners. Bucky was smiling at Sharon - he was finally having somewhat of a good time - when he caught sight of Steve dancing with Peggy. She was taller than him and Steve was a _terrible_ dancer; uncoordinated and clumsy but he did not seem to care. He laughed as Peggy twirled _him_ instead of he twirling her and Bucky was taken with admiration for Steve, more so than before.

At the edge of the dance floor, onlookers were watching and clapping along to the music. There was a group of six young men and women about his and Steve's age watching Steve and Peggy dance, cruel smirks on their faces as they whispered to each other. No doubt these were some of the people Steve had mentioned to him, those that still viewed him as a commoner. Bucky felt a sudden flash of anger aimed at them; none of them truly knew Steve, how honest and interesting he was. How he held himself with dignity. The more Bucky watched him dancing, he slowly started to realise...

He was _attracted_ to Steve.

The revelation hit him and he was simultaneously filled with hope and desire, dread and fear. He wanted Steve. He wanted to spend his days talking and laughing and walking with him. But for many reasons, least of all the party he was currently at, he could not have any of that. It felt like a blow to his stomach.

Bucky stumbled a little and Sharon's face was awash with concern. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"I feel queasy," Bucky said and it was not entirely untrue.

"Do you want to stop?" Sharon asked, no admonishment in her voice, just worry. That only served to make Bucky feel worse; he could never love Sharon but she was a good person.

"No, I do not wish to cause a scene. I will be fine," he said and offered her a weak smile.

There were three more dances and then the evening drew to a close. Guests started to leave, a procession of carriages outside of the Carter's house. Bucky, under the guise of feeling unwell, took his leave to his quarters, avoiding as many people as he could, including Steve. When alone in his room, he threw off his jacket and tugged off his tie, slumping onto the bed. He was confused and anxious; he could not deny that since meeting Steve that day in the copse, something inside of him had changed, something he did not know had even been there.

But it was something he could never have, he knew that much. It could never be, no matter how much he wanted it or if Steve even wanted him back.

Bucky dropped to the floor, resting his head against the plush blankets overhanging the guest bed, wondering when he had let his own life become such a horrid mess.

***

He awoke to a soft tapping at his door. He had dozed off in his sitting position and now his neck was stiff. He quickly checked his pocket watch. It was after one o'clock in the morning. Who could be knocking for him at such an hour? He hoped dearly that it was not Sharon.

He opened the door and cautiously peered through the gap. It was Steve. Bucky felt an immense pressure on his chest and he knew for certain that his attraction for Steve was real. He was wearing the shirt, trousers and suspenders that he had worn the first day they had met. His hair looked soft and a little fuzzy.

"I am sorry to disturb you," Steve said quietly, "but I saw the light under your door and thought you might still be awake. Are you alright? Sharon told us that you experienced a turn at the dance." He looked so concerned. Bucky's heart ached.

"I am fine now," Bucky said, opening the door a little more but he kept his voice down. "I think the evening was just too much for me."

Steve nodded in understanding. "I looked for you afterwards but Sharon asked us all to give you time to recover." He looked apologetic. "Your father was angry."

Bucky sighed. He would have to face that wrath tomorrow. "Of course he was. I have probably shamed him greatly," he said.

"Well, the Carters did not care. They just wanted to know if you were alright." Steve shrugged but there seemed to be less ease in the gesture than he thought he was making. "I wanted to make sure you were alright, too." Bucky could not have been sure as the lamp in his room was dim, but he thought Steve blushed.

"I am fine. Thank you," he said and smiled.

Steve smiled back. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to join me as I...I have my telescope set up and it is a particularly lovely night. I know it is late but you seemed so out of sorts earlier at the party and I just wanted to..." he trailed off with uncertainty.

Bucky could think of nothing he wanted more in that moment, a spark of hope settling in his chest. "That sounds wonderful."

***

Steve took Bucky through his bedroom - a neat little room filled with books - onto a small veranda overlooking the orchards. It was a lovely night with an almost full moon, the sky speckled with stars. Steve turned lamp off before ushering Bucky over to his telescope.

"Take a look," he said and Bucky peered through the eyepiece and immediately sucked in a breath. 

"I...it is beautiful," he murmured.

"That is the Milky Way," Steve said.

Bucky pulled away from the telescope and studied the area of sky the instrument had been focussed on. He could make out the dim swath of the Milky Way with the naked eye but when he looked through the eyepiece again, the stars were right there. "I have never seen anything like this," he said with awe. He suddenly felt very small.

Steve had his arms wrapped around himself. "I stay out here all night sometimes," he said quietly. "It may sound silly, but I often feel like this is all for me. I know others must be watching - I am by no means the only astronomer to grace the Earth - but...when I am lonely or sad, the stars are mine."

Bucky straightened himself and glanced at Steve, his outline defined in the silver moonlight. He had never felt such pure _want_ in all of his life, such naked desire. He could do nothing with it, however.

"Whenever I look at the stars from this moment on, I will think of you," he said. It was meant to sound jovial but his voice came out too low.

He could not tell if Steve was looking at him but the silence between them was different now. They stood together and watched the sky without speaking.

***

The following day was terrible.

The reason for Bucky and his father to stay for two nights at the Carter's was not only for the engagement party, but also to begin plans on Bucky and Sharon's wedding and also for Bucky's future role as Mr. Carter's successor.

The morning was spent in the drawing room discussing the wedding: Clothing, food, guests, more things than Bucky could remember. The wedding was scheduled for a month's time. He was starting to feel that tightness in his chest again, that hot sensation under his collar. He breathed as calmly as he could while Mrs. Carter talked about the church they were to hold the ceremony in with the reception to be held on the grounds of their estate, preferably outside if the weather was good. Bucky and Sharon both sat together in silence, neither of their opinions asked on anything. Sharon's face betrayed nothing of how she felt and Bucky wondered if he could ever ask her truthfully of her feelings on this whole matter. He suspected, much like himself, that her parents made many of her decisions for her. It seemed to be the way with many children of well-to-do families, as if they could not be trusted to make lives for themselves. The only exception Bucky had heard of was Anthony Stark, the son of a richer-than-most inventor and socialite who gallivanted around the world with his father's money. Stories of Stark's escapades were often regaled at parties and were sought after points of gossip. Bucky had scoffed at the stories but he was secretly envious: envious of Stark's freedom.

Bucky knew that he should consider himself lucky; he would never want for anything in his life when it came to money. There were people far worse off than he, struggling to feed their families. Maybe his personal freedom was a small price to pay.

By lunchtime, Bucky was glad to be out of the drawing room. They ate in the dining room but Bucky picked at his food, not wishing to seem ungrateful but struggling to eat anything. Steve was elsewhere, having taken his food earlier and Bucky was disappointed. He was sure that seeing Steve would have made everything more bearable.

Mrs. Carter and Sharon left after lunch for an appointment in the city. Before they parted, Sharon offered Bucky a reassuring smile, following her mother to the awaiting carriage. Bucky, Mr. Barnes and Mr. Carter went through to Mr. Carter's study to discuss business and that is where things truly fell apart.

Pleasantries began to fall away as soon as money was discussed and the negotiations between Mr. Carter and Mr. Barnes became heated and strained. Bucky shrank in his chair, folding himself in on his misery and the two older men's voices became an angry drone in the background. He did not follow the debate; indeed, there was no need for him to as contracts were eventually signed on his behalf. Mr. Carter promised him a meeting after the wedding to cement his place in the family business.

By dinner, Bucky was exhausted. He ate mechanically, answering when asked questions, smiling politely but his body felt hollow. Sharon asked him if he was alright, low enough for nobody else to hear. Her concern was genuine and Bucky was grateful, once again claiming that he thought he might be coming down with something. She hesitated but then reached out and squeezed his hand a little before turning her attention back to her food.

Steve was at dinner but now Bucky could not bring himself to look at him, to be reminded of what his life could not be. He could feel Steve watching him, trying to draw Bucky's attention, his concern almost as solid as the food on the table but Bucky refused to meet his eyes. It was selfish he knew, but he could not trust his emotions at that moment.

The day had fatigued everyone and bedtimes were met sooner than they usually would have been. Bucky was barely able to string together any more pleasantries and made a hasty retreat to his room once more, closing the door behind him and sinking to the floor. Tomorrow he and his father would go home. He thought of the wedding.

 _His_ wedding. The wedding he did not want.

***

A knock at his door woke him. He was not sure how long the noise must have been going on but he blinked and looked to the window. It was late, or early depending on how you viewed it, the moon high in the night sky. Bucky crossed the room in his bed clothes and opened the door, peering through the small gap.

Steve was in the hallway in his favoured shirt, trousers and suspenders.

"Hello," Bucky said softly.

Steve shoved some clothes into Bucky's hands, similar to his own but in a larger size. "Put these on and meet me in my room."

Bucky took the clothes and stared down at them. "What for?"

"I want to show you something." Steve's voice was hushed and neutral.

Bucky sighed. "Steve - "

"Please, Bucky. Just put on the clothes?"

It was the use of his nickname that swayed him. He nodded at Steve and closed his bedroom door, changing quickly. When he stepped into the hallway, dark save for the moonlight shining in through the windows, Steve was gone. Bucky walked as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake anyone else. When he reached Steve's room, he tapped on the door as gently as he dared.

Steve opened the door and beckoned him in, walking immediately to the glass door that led to his veranda. Bucky followed him and thought Steve wanted to show him something through his telescope but Steve instead swung his leg over the side of the loggia and began to scale the wall to the ground.

"Steve, what are you doing?" Bucky hissed, leaning over to watch as Steve dropped smoothly to the ground.

"Come on," he whispered back, a playful smile on his face.

Bucky huffed and carefully tried to replicate Steve's movements, almost losing his grip once but happy as soon as his feet touched the ground.

"What are we doing?" he asked, glancing back at the dark, silent house.

"This way," Steve said and he scampered off across the lawn towards the orchard.

"Steve!" Bucky called, his voice an annoyed hiss but Steve was either out of earshot or ignoring him. Bucky favoured the latter. He ran after him across the lawn, hoping desperately that no-one else was awake to see him.

When he reached the orchard, Steve was waiting for him, a mere silhouette under the canopy of leaves. "We can talk now, no need for whispers," he said and started to walk through the trees.

Bucky joined Steve, walking at his side. "Are you going to tell me what we are doing or must I guess?"

Steve laughed and it was a delightful sound. "You can try but I do not think you will guess correctly."

Bucky huffed. "You are very irritating. You know this, do you not?"

"Oh, most certainly," Steve answered and Bucky finally chuckled.

They walked on in silence and Bucky would not have admitted it to anyone but he was a little afraid. Things that would seem innocuous in the day were strange and foreboding in the darkness. But Steve seemed unafraid and Bucky trusted him.

He was also afraid of his feelings but pushed those aside as best he could.

Eventually the trees thinned and they entered a clearing. There was a small pond surrounded by long grass, the moonlight reflecting off of the water. Bulrushes swayed lightly with a breeze that Bucky could barely feel and frogs chirped happily into the night.

"Here we are," Steve said triumphantly.

Bucky was confused. "And what are we doing here?"

"We," Steve proclaimed as he proceeded to take off his shoes, "are going to catch frogs."

Bucky stared at him incredulously for a moment. He could see Steve clearly, smiling and pale in the light of the moon. His hair appeared silver, his skin radiant. "Pardon me?"

Steve laughed again and rolled up his trouser legs. "Frog catching! It is a lot of fun. Do not worry, we will let the frogs go after we catch them."

"Steve, what in the world - "

Steve stepped up to Bucky and his heart began to pound but Steve just put his hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I saw how hard today was for you," he said, his voice soft. "I wish...I wish I could do something more for you but...when I was younger and could not sleep because of a medley of anxieties, I would come here and catch frogs for a while. It took my mind off of my worries, if only for a short time. I just...wanted to be able to do something. Anything. For you." His confidence had slipped again in that way it did.

Bucky swallowed; this had been a lovely thought. Something so simple yet so personal; something that was important to Steve. "Frog catching it is," he said with a thankful smile.

Steve showed him how to find the frogs by listening to their chirps and carefully but quickly catching them by demonstrating. They were both up to their knees in the pond, as that was as deep as it went, and Steve waded carefully over to Bucky, his hands cupped. He showed Bucky how to hold them as not to hurt them.

"What do we do with the frogs when we catch them?" Bucky asked, eyeing Steve's hand warily.

"We let them go. The joy is in the chase." Steve opened his hands slowly and a small frog sat in his palm, shiny in the moonlight. Bucky leaned in for a closer look and the frog jumped from Steve's hands. Bucky shrieked and almost fell over, hearing a soft _splish_ as the frog landed in the water.

Steve laughed, his voice musical in the night and Bucky laughed with him. They spent an hour chasing frogs, seeing who could catch the biggest. They were delicate creatures; Bucky could feel the vulnerability in their soft bodies, their bones beneath their smooth skins.

Bucky stopped at one point and stared up at the stars, the mud of the pond bed satisfying between his toes, his troubles forgotten for a moment.

Steve stopped and stood in the water next to him, hands on his hips and looked up too. "It is so beautiful tonight. Do you know many constellations?" he asked Bucky.

Bucky lowered his hands to the water and let a frog go that he had been gently holding, watching as it swam away. "Only Ursa Major."

"I would like very much to travel to the Southern Hemisphere at some point in my life. There are many constellations there that are different; is that not incredible?"

"I am not sure," Bucky said. "Would it not make you uneasy to stare up at an unfamiliar sky?"

Steve laughed softly. "Not at all. It would thrill me to learn the sky anew."

Bucky felt that sweeping sensation he experienced whenever he was with Steve. No-one else he knew spoke in such a way. "I am not even familiar with _this_ sky. Tell me about one of the constellations."

Steve pointed. "Do you see the stars shaped like a W? That is Cassiopeia."

"Are all of the constellations Greek in origin?" Bucky asked, staring upwards. Indeed he could see the W very clearly.

"For the most part," Steve answered. "Cassiopeia boasted that she was more beautiful than the sea nymphs and was banished to travel around and around the North Star on her throne."

Bucky shook his head. "So many strange tales."

Steve wiped his hands on his trousers. "True, but they can also be very beautiful. My favourite Greek myth is that of Orpheus and Eurydice. They were husband and wife and very much in love. Eurydice died after falling into a pit of snakes and Orpheus sang such beautiful and melancholy songs about her, the Gods allowed him to travel to the underworld to bring her back to the world of the living."

Bucky stilled, listening to the tale. Even the frogs seemed to have become quiet.

"There was one condition of Orpheus's journey though: On the way out of the underworld, Eurydice had to walk behind him and no matter how much he wanted to, no matter how badly he wanted it, Orpheus could not look back at her otherwise she would return to the underworld forever."

"What happened?" Bucky breathed, rapt.

Steve stared up at the stars. "They walked through the underworld and made their way back up to Earth but Orpheus began to doubt that Eurydice was behind him. Just before they escaped the underworld he could not help himself and turned to look. She was indeed behind him but because he broke the condition set by the Gods, she was banished back to the underworld and he never saw her again."

"That is a terrible tale!" Bucky exclaimed. "Why would Orpheus not trust that Eurydice was behind him?"

"I suppose he was so in love with her that he could not bear to think that she was not there," Steve said. "But that is not the point of the story! He travelled to the underworld to bring her back from _death_. Do you not think that is romantic?"

Bucky looked down into the water at his knees. His heart began to pound. "I have never been in love so I do not know."

Steve took an few steps towards him through the water. "I have never been in love either but I think it is very passionate. To love someone enough to challenge death? Can you think of anything more romantic?"

Steve was only a foot away from Bucky with a smile on his face and Bucky took the biggest risk of his life.

"Catching frogs by moonlight?" he said, his voice soft and nervous. He heard Steve's breath catch and before he could think too much about it and let the chance pass, Bucky leaned forward and kissed Steve on the lips, a gentle, hesitant kiss. He felt Steve stiffen ever so slightly and hastily pulled away. "I am sorry," he said quickly, "I should not have - "

But Steve grabbed Bucky by the collar and pressed their lips together again. "I want this," he whispered into Bucky's mouth. "I have wanted this since the first day I met you."

At that, Bucky let his inhibitions go and wrapped his arms around Steve, kissing him deeply, something inside of him finally, blessedly, making sense. Steve's hands were gripping his waist and it was nothing like the only other kiss Bucky had had from a girl back at his day school. That had been quick and on the cheek and she had not talked to Bucky again afterwards but this was _passionate_ , to use Steve's word, and Bucky was caught up in everything: The night, the water stirring smoothly around their legs, the chirping of the frogs and the smell of the grass surrounding them. More than that, he was caught up in Steve; this wonderful, beautiful man who had made Bucky feel like he was more than he was. That he could maybe have something more from his life.

They parted, foreheads together, breathing heavily. Bucky did not want to let Steve go. Letting go would mean that all of this would end and Bucky was once again betrothed to someone else, to someone he did not love. His heart sank just thinking about it.

"This...I know too well that we cannot have this," Steve said quietly, as if reading Bucky's thoughts. "I feel awful for Sharon..."

Bucky shook his head. "I do not love her and I suspect that she does not love me."

Steve looked up at him and his face was distraught. "I know but...what can we do." It was not a question and Bucky already knew the answer: Nothing.

"Let us not think about it for now," he said, stroking Steve's face. "Tonight is for us and for us alone."

They sank into each other once more, in this strange little world that had become theirs.

***

They lay together in the grass; it was slightly damp beneath them but Bucky did not care. The shirt and trousers he was wearing could become wet and stained with grass for all he was bothered and he did not want to think about anything other than the man in his arms.

He finally felt as thought he had found his place in the universe here next to Steve, that his life had found its true meaning. He reached out and touched Steve's face again and his stomach flipped once more at Steve's smile, how his face glowed in the moonlight. He was a fallen star: bright and otherworldly, out of place on this Earth. He did not belong here and Bucky wanted to take him far away, just the two of them forever more. Steve had literally dropped into Bucky's life and Bucky's heart ached that he could not follow whatever path Steve may be taking.

"You are so beautiful," he said and leaned in to kiss Steve's lips again. "Everything about you."

Steve snuggled closer to Bucky, if that was possible. "I dreamed about this so often, waking and sleeping. I cannot believe it has come true."

Bucky laughed. "I never imagined I would be somebody's dream."

Steve raised himself and rested his head on one hand, gazing down at Bucky. "You are the very epitome of a dream: Handsome and charming, awkward and bumbling."

"I am not awkward and bumbling!" Bucky exclaimed.

"Yes you are," Steve said with a big smile. "It is very endearing."

"I will show you awkward," Bucky grumbled and tackled Steve beneath him in one smooth motion.

Steve burst into a fit of giggles and Bucky joined him. They wrapped their arms around each other and laughs soon turned to kisses again, soft words, desperate longings.

"It will be light soon," Steve said a little while later, his voice subdued. "We should go back before the house staff awake."

"Yes," Bucky said and his reality started to creep back to him like a wolf in the darkness. "Steve, what are we going to do?"

"I do not know," Steve whispered and pulled Bucky to him for one more embrace.

***

The sky was lightening by the time they scaled the wall back to Steve's room. They stood together next to Steve's door for one last kiss.

"I will be leaving after breakfast," Bucky said, his voice low in case anyone in the house should be stirring.

Steve nodded. "I know. When will you be coming back? It would be too risky for us to meet elsewhere and letters are a scandal waiting to happen." He cast his eyes down, reaching for Bucky's hand.

"We will think of something," Bucky said, raising Steve's hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles. "Goodnight."

Steve managed a smile. "Good Morning."

Bucky slipped out of Steve's room and back to his own and crawled into his bed fully clothed, falling into a wonderful sleep filled with frogs and Steve and kisses.

***

When Bucky awoke three hours later, his heart was heavy. Last night had been incredible, more than he ever could have hoped for. Steve had feelings for him also but they could not be. So many problems surrounded them, things that society would deem deplorable, his wedding plans, everything. Bucky stared up at the ceiling, wanting Steve more than anything he had ever wanted in his life and yet for the time being, they would only be able to gaze at each other from afar. Another night like last night would be near impossible to replicate.

Steve was not at breakfast and Bucky was both saddened and relieved. He was not sure that seeing Steve again so soon would be ideal. What if his face betrayed him when he looked upon him? He made small talk with Mr. and Mrs. Carter and told Sharon some jokes, trying to make an effort with her as some kind of recompense for the guilt he currently felt. She did not deserve this. Even though they were not together and there was no guarantee that they would ever love each other, Bucky could not help the feeling of betrayal he was presenting to her.

After breakfast, Bucky and his father went to the entrance hall where their bags were waiting. The carriage had been called for and Mr. Barnes and Bucky thanked the Carters for their hospitality.

"This has been a wonderful few days for us," Mr. Barnes said. "We will discuss the date for the wedding very soon."

Mr. Carter pumped Mr. Barnes's hand eagerly with his own. "Yes, yes! We will also have James visit us every week perhaps to build on the business side of things."

Bucky brightened a little at that; it was the perfect opportunity to see Steve. "That would be wonderful, Mr. Carter."

"You and Sharon could also spend a little more time together. We do not want you marrying as perfect strangers now, do we?" Mr. Carter laughed uproariously and Mrs. Carter winced a little beneath her own smile. Sharon closed her eyes in embarrassment.

The house staff started to take their bags to the carriage when Steve appeared. He had been in the library by the looks of it.

"Steven! We missed you at breakfast," Mr. Carter said and clapped him on the shoulder.

"I apologise but I had some urgent work to attend to," Steve said and he looked at Bucky. He was doing his utmost to remain completely composed and Bucky knew that he was feeling the same way as he. Had they seen each other earlier, they could not have hidden that something had happened between them.

"Mr. Barnes and James were just about to leave," Mrs. Carter said.

"I know. I came to bid them farewell." Steve shook Mr. Barnes' hand and then turned to Bucky.

"I hope you have a safe journey home, James." He shook Bucky's hand and squeezed it, so gently no-one else would have noticed.

"Thank you, Steven," Bucky said. They allowed themselves a brief longing glance before Bucky turned and followed his father to the carriage.

***

Bucky had been avoiding his father as much as possible since the party, unable to bear his now very open smugness. The wedding was to be in the Autumn, one month from now. It hung over Bucky like a funeral shroud waiting to descend. As luck would have it though, work suddenly got busier for Mr. Barnes and he was away from the house for longer periods and Bucky was left to his own devices. A large portion of his waking hours were devoted to trying to think of some way that he and Steve could be together but he was met with dead-end after dead-end. His dreams were full of passion.

A week after the party, Bucky was called to the Carter estate to meet with Mr. Carter and begin his work as successor to the Carter business. He was not looking forward to it but his heart beat faster the closer they travelled to the mansion and he wondered if Steve was there.

"James! Come in, come in!" Mr. Carter greeted him.

"Hello, Sir," Bucky said with a smile, taking off his hat. "Thank you for your time today."

Mr. Carter waved a hand. "It is no bother. I thought it best to get started early - it is a lot of hard work running a business as large as mine and you have certainly got yours cut out for you." He laughed loudly.

Bucky laughed politely. "Indeed I do. Is Sharon or Mrs. Carter here? I should like to say hello."

"They are away with Sharon's cousin Margaret for a few days so you are just stuck with me, I'm afraid."

"That is no hardship," Bucky said. Had Steve gone too?

Coulson appeared from the hall and nodded to Bucky in greeting. "Mr. Carter, some paperwork has just arrived for you from Mr. Pierce's estate that needs your attention most urgently."

Mr. Carter groaned. "Oh, what a bother. James, forgive me - this cannot wait." He started to follow Coulson through the house to his study. "Steven is working in the library if you care to speak with him."

Bucky did his best to compose himself as he hurried through to the library. Steve was sitting at one of the tables with an abacus and piles of papers, frowning. He was actually working this time - no trees or Greek myths - and he did not hear Bucky come in, his head bent over his calculations in concentration.

"I think this is the first time I have actually seen you working in earnest," Bucky said with a grin.

Steve's head snapped up and his face immediately brightened. "Bucky! What are you doing here?" He stood and seemed hesitant, as if Bucky had changed his mind about their night at the pond.

Bucky approached him, hat in his hands. "I was supposed to be meeting with Mr. Carter to begin my training but he is indisposed."

Steve shifted nervously on his feet. "I...I missed you," he said quietly.

Bucky stepped towards him and leaned in for a kiss but Steve hastily ducked away. "Wait..." He grabbed Bucky by the hand and pulled him into the book stacks, away from the windows and anyone who may come in through the doors. When they were hidden, Steve immediately pulled Bucky in, kissing him softly.

"Steve," Bucky gasped, "I missed you too. So much."

They held each other tightly. Bucky buried his face in Steve's neck. It was almost too much, what he felt for this man. He had never been overcome by another person so fast or so hard.

Steve stroked Bucky's hair. "I cannot stop thinking about you. It is almost unbearable."

Bucky lifted his head and brushed his thumb across Steve's cheek. "I know. All I want is to be with you." He brought his lips back to Steve's.

The door to the library opened. "James?" It was Mr. Carter.

They pulled away from each other hastily and Bucky was about to run out from behind the bookcase but Steve grabbed him.

"No," he whispered. "That will look too strange." He took a book from one of the shelves. "We are here," he called to Mr. Carter as Bucky smoothed the front of his jacket. Steve opened the book and stood next to Bucky as if showing him something.

Mr. Carter appeared. "Ah! I see Steven is showing you one of his many books. What is it this time?" If anything seemed amiss, Mr. Carter did not notice.

Steve looked at the cover of the book he had chosen at random. "Er, A Field Guide To Edible And Poisonous Mushrooms." His cheeks pinked slightly.

Mr. Carter laughed. "You and your interests! Well, I suppose there may be a need for such a thing should one be lost in the countryside for a time."

"That is what I was saying to James," Steve said and Bucky nodded in agreement.

"I need to steal James back from you for work purposes, Steven. Maybe you would care to join us for lunch later?"

Steve put the book back on the shelf. "That would be lovely." He smiled at Bucky and Mr. Carter. "I will get back to my work."

As they were leaving the library, Bucky glanced back at Steve. He was staring back, his face forlorn.

***

And that is how it went. Bucky would come to the Carter estate for his work training twice a week and have lunch and dinner with the Carters. He saw even less of his father which was a blessing; ever since their hideous exchange before the engagement party, they had grown apart even more. As much as Bucky was dreading his upcoming marriage, he would be glad to leave his father behind.

But going to the Carter house so often was difficult: He and Steve barely had the chance to spend any time together at all. If Bucky was not working, he was spending time with Sharon. He was finding out that was not as a big a hardship as he would have thought; the more he got to know her, the more he realised what an intelligent, interesting person she was. It did not quell his feelings for Steve however and his emotions became a tumult of guilt and confusion. He and Steve could only spare each other quick glimpses or, if they were sitting together at dinner, a brief brush of fingers upon fingers. They only managed to steal one small kiss in the library one day while everyone was out on the veranda having tea.

They had become actors in their own lives, feigning smiles and interest in the conversations around then when they only had eyes or thoughts for each other but could do nothing about it. Bucky knew he wanted nothing more than to be with Steve and he was certain that Steve felt it too. It was agony.

One evening, Mr. Barnes was invited to dinner at the Carter house. Bucky was exhausted, already at the Carter estate. He had spent most of the day with Mr. Carter at one of his shipyards, talking to the workers and watching carefully as Mr. Carter ran his business. He was a very astute businessman but was also very considerate of his employees and Bucky could see that he was well-liked. He hoped that he could do his soon-to-be father-in-law justice.

Dinner was mainly spent listening to Mr. Barnes and Mr. Carter discuss a new metal press that would be available to the market soon and whether they should invest. Bucky had had enough of work talk and picked at his meal. Mrs. Carter and Sharon looked bored but wore the smiles that Bucky had come to know as being those of humouring whomever was currently talking. Steve was very quiet and did not look up from his food.

After everyone had finished, they retired to the drawing room for dessert and coffee.

"I think," Mrs. Carter proclaimed as they sat down, and before Mr. Carter and Mr. Barnes could start talking again, Bucky noticed, "that I should like to hear some music. Perhaps Sharon and Steven would like to entertain us while we enjoy our cake and tea?"

Sharon beamed, obviously happy to actually have something to do. "Gladly," she said and rose from the couch and busied herself at the piano. She started to play a piece by Mozart.

Bucky listened with admiration at her skill and once, she looked up and caught his eye. He smiled and she smiled back before looking back at her sheet music. Bucky took a sip of his tea and stole a glance to Steve but he was staring down at his cake, uneaten on the plate in front of him. Bucky wanted more than anything to reach out a hand and touch him, but he could not. He wished that he could let Steve know that he was suffering as much as he.

When Sharon had finished, everyone clapped. She gave a little bow and sat down beside her mother.

"That was wonderful," Bucky said. "I wish I had such skill with music."

"Yes," Mr. Barnes said, "James never could quite grasp the concept of music. How many instruments did we try you on before we realised that you were no good at any of them? Four? Five?"

Bucky clenched his jaw. "Three," he said, keeping his voice level. "The piano, the oboe and the flute." Why must his father do this?

"Not everyone is musically inclined," Sharon said quickly, sensing the discomfort in Bucky's voice. "I tried to play the harp a little while back and gave up in frustration. I just could not seem to grasp it."

"Oh yes," Mrs. Carter said. "That was very exasperating. Being good at one instrument does not necessarily mean that one is good at every instrument, I suppose."

"Or in James's case, no instrument at all," Mr. Barnes scoffed.

Bucky bit his tongue. He did not think his father would dare to show his true colours to the Carters but it seemed that he could just not help himself, especially when it came to making a fool out of his son. In any case, Bucky was not about to rise to the bait. He could sense that Sharon and Mrs. Carter were growing uncomfortable. Mr. Carter seemed oblivious.

"I would like to play a piece on the piano," Steve said quietly.

"Oh yes, Steven! Please do," Mrs. Carter said with some relief.

Steve stood and nervously adjusted his jacket. "I...wrote this piece myself."

Sharon smiled. "Oh, wonderful!"

Steve made his way to the piano and sat down. Bucky put down his cup and watched in anticipation. Steve had no sheet music with him.

When he began to play, Bucky's heart clenched in his chest. It was beautiful; sombre and uplifting both, gorgeously eloquent, Steve's soul poured out into musical form. Bucky felt both hopeful and hopeless.

When Steve finished, he merely sat at the piano, looking down at the keys.

"Oh, Steven," Sharon said softly. "That was _beautiful_. Does the piece have a name?"

Steve nodded. "Yes. The Dreaming Of Frogs."

Bucky's throat tightened.

"Trust you to give it so cryptic a name," Mr. Carter chuckled. "But bravo, my boy. That was splendid."

Steve looked at Bucky then, his eyes full of sadness. He stood up. "Please excuse me, I...have work I must attend to." He hurried from the room, much to the confusion of Mrs. Carter and Sharon. Mr. Carter and Mr. Barnes started to talk about the cost of timber.

"I should make sure that Steven is alright," Sharon said quietly to Mrs. Carter.

Bucky stood. "I will go," he said.

Sharon smiled at him. "Thank you. I do believe Steven sees you as a good friend. It has been lovely to watch the both of you become as such."

Guilt bloomed anew in Bucky but he merely nodded and left the drawing room. He knew Steve would be in the library and there he was, sitting on the window seat. He wiped his eyes when Bucky came in.

"I am sorry," he said. "I just...this is so difficult."

Bucky sat down next to him, careful to keep his distance should anyone come in. "Your piano piece was beautiful," he said.

Steve sniffed. "It was for you."

"Thank you. Steve, I wish - "

"Run away with me," Steve blurted out.

Bucky could not help but splutter. "W-what?"

Steve grabbed Bucky's hands. "Run away with me," he said again, desperation in his voice. "Peggy knows someone who can help us, who could - "

"Peggy knows?" Bucky said, his stomach turning to ice. He remembered their intense looking conversation at the engagement party.

"It is alright," Steve said. "She wants to help."

"But Sharon is her cousin, why would - "

"You said it yourself though: You do not love Sharon and you suspect that she does not love you. Peggy said that this marriage would be terrible for Sharon, that she could be so much more. I think so too." Steve tightened his grip on Bucky's hands and some of his confidence returned. "I want to be with you."

Bucky brought Steve's hands to his lips and kissed them. "I want to be with you too. More than anything."

"Then come with me. Please? I had thought of running away myself before I met you and now...it seems to be the only option for us, to have a chance together. If it is what you still want." Steve's voice faltered.

"Steve, I want you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life," Bucky knew it was dangerous but took Steve's face in his hands and kissed him. "But...the Carters, Sharon...I...so much is expected of me..."

"You think I do not understand that? I too have such things placed upon me. All the more reason for us to go; we have no expectations of each other. I feel more alive and free when I am with you. You make me feel complete, Bucky."

Bucky did not know what to say. Nobody had ever said anything quite like that to him before. "Steve, you are so wonderful," he said quietly and leaned in to kiss him softly, quickly on the lips. "I - "

Steve raised a hand. "Think on it. Please?"

Bucky moved away from Steve as much as it pained him but anyone could walk in and see them. "Alright. I will."

Steve took a breath. "Can you meet me tomorrow night? After midnight?"

Bucky rose and checked the door. "Yes. Whereabouts?"

"Do you remember the cottage that day we walked in the grounds?"

"Of course I do. It was your old home."

Steve smiled sadly. "I will be waiting for you. Just promise me that whatever you decide, it will be for you. I want this to be your choice. I know how few of those you have."

Bucky wanted to sweep Steve into his arms and kiss him breathless. "I promise," he said.

Steve sighed. "You should return."

"Are you coming too?"

Steve shook his head. "I really must work."

"Until tomorrow then," Bucky said.

He started out of the library but could not help himself. He walked to Steve and bent down, brushing their lips together.

Steve swallowed. "Until tomorrow."

***

Bucky could not stop thinking about Steve's offer the whole next day. How could he? This is what he had wanted: Freedom from his father, freedom from a life that had been chosen for him. He could leave and live a life with Steve. But was it that easy now that the option was there? Bucky thought about his sister, living in a marriage she did now want. He thought about Sharon having to go through the same, smiling and accepting something that was not her decision, any ambitions or desires of her own scrapped like they meant nothing.

Bucky thought about his selfish father and that was one large reason to say yes and just leave. Surely though, there was an element of selfishness should Bucky runaway, turning his back on his responsibilities. But then they were responsibilities he did not want, that had been forced upon him. He had wanted to become a teacher, to shape the lives of children and watch them grow and learn. He could not have that now.

The clock ticked down all day. Time would not wait for him. He had to decide.

***

Bucky waited until eleven o'clock to leave the house, until he was sure his father was sleeping. He crept downstairs and through the parlour, navigating his way through the darkness of the kitchen to the back door. The one small stable they had was out across their garden and Bucky slipped inside quietly.

Winter, their grey and white carriage horse, was getting on a little but still liked to be ridden when the opportunity arose. Bucky had been so busy as of late, he had not been able to give the horse the attention he deserved. When he walked over to the horse, he was still awake and snorted happily.

"Hello Winter," Bucky said and stroked the horses nose as he fixed on the bridle and saddle. "How would you like to go on a little jaunt with me?"

The horse chuffed, obviously happy at the feel of the saddle on his back. Bucky loaded a feedbag with oats and stuffed it into his satchel. He led Winter out of the barn, stopping for a moment to scan the house - it appeared still, his father still sleeping - and headed for the road.

On horseback, it was not far to the Carter estate. Bucky could cut across woodland and fields he knew well and headed in the direction he thought would bring him to the far end of the Carter's land, where Steve's old house sat, nestled in the overgrown trees. The moon was waning tonight but there was enough light to go by and Winter's feet were sure and steady.

The Carter house was visible far behind the trees, the lights out. Bucky remembered roughly where the small cottage was and tied Winter to a tree in a patch of trees. He gave the horse his feedbag and knew that he would stand happily hidden, munching on his treat while Bucky met Steve. He gave Winter one last pat on the flank and went on his way.

The cottage stood lonely and neglected in the trees where Bucky had last seen it from afar. Although the surrounding foliage was dense and unkempt, the little house itself looked to be in good condition. All of the small windows were dark and Bucky wondered if Steve was here yet. He went up to the front door and tried it. It was open.

"Steve?" he called softly into the musky darkness.

"In here," a voice answered.

Bucky closed the door and walked through to what would have been the living room. Steve was in his commoners garb, standing by one of the small windows, just visible by the moonlight. He turned to Bucky, his face hidden in shadow.

"Part of me thought that you might not come," he said, his voice subdued.

"I would not leave you when such an important decision hangs before us. Steve, I - "

Steve stepped forward. "Wait. Please do not tell me just yet. I...can we just hold each other for a while? I just want to have you for a moment before we have to think of it all."

Bucky took Steve in his arms. "Anything you want."

They kissed in the dark room, hands tightening on shoulders and waists. Bucky could not believe how much he felt for this man, how far he had fallen for him in such a short space of time. Steve was warm and alive and Bucky believed he could fly if Steve would ask him to.

Bucky kissed Steve's jaw, relishing the small sighs he made. "So this was your home?"

Steve tipped his head to the side so Bucky could kiss his neck, following the delicate line down to his collarbone, under his shirt. "Yes. No-one has lived here since. I do not think I would want anyone to. This place is for my parents and their memories." He took Bucky's hand and led him a door on the far side of the room. "I want to show you something."

Through the kitchen they walked to a set of narrow stairs. Bucky followed Steve up to a small room in the eaves of the house. Bucky had to duck his head slightly when he stood.

Steve knocked gently on one of the beams. "This used to be my room. In the mornings, I could hear my mother singing in the kitchen. She had such a lovely voice."

Bucky's eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could see how sad Steve looked, standing here in his old home, a life away.

"Do not be sad," Bucky said.

"Bucky, I am in love with you," Steve said. "Whatever happens, whatever you have decided, that will not change for me. I will never be the same person I was when we met that day."

"I am in love with you too," Bucky said softly into the darkness.

Steve's face could have been a light in the gloom. "You are?"

Bucky kissed Steve deeply. "You have changed me too, Steven Rogers."

It was as if Steve had been holding back and he was like a river, rushing and flowing into Bucky with hungry lips and strong hands. Bucky let himself be swept away, let himself be consumed by Steve.

The floor was hard and dusty but they did not care. Bucky watched as Steve undressed himself, letting his eyes roam over his body. He thought of stars and comets, of faraway things that belonged in the heavens. Bucky let Steve undress him, relishing the smile on Steve's face as he ran his hands over his body, his slender hands warm and confident. Bucky felt both vulnerable and protected; never had he been so open to anyone in this way.

"I have never..." Bucky breathed, as Steve dipped his head lower, excited and terrified both.

Steve ran his lips over Bucky's stomach. "With a man?" he asked, his voice gentle and husky.

"With anyone," Bucky replied, his hands shaking as he ran them through Steve's hair.

Steve stopped kissing Bucky's bare thigh and rose to kiss him gently on the lips again. "I will take care of you, always," he whispered.

They made love in the darkness, nothing but a sliver of moonlight carving its way through the small window, their gasps and moans loud in the small space. Bucky did not care; after so long in having to hold themselves back, he and Steve cried out and let themselves love each other.

Steve whimpered against Bucky's chest, sweat-dampened and trembling in his release when Bucky whispered into his ear, "I will go with you."

Steve sobbed in relief and they held each other close.

***

Winter was dozing and snorting into his feedbag when Bucky gently unwound his rein from the tree branch where he had left him. Steve wrapped his arms around himself; it was growing chilly.

"We will have to plan quickly. Your wedding is approaching fast," Steve said.

Bucky patted Winter's nose and the horse twitched his ears, as if sensing his part in an elicit conspiracy. "Yes. I do not wish to draw this out."

"I will speak to Peggy and send word to you as soon as I can."

"I thought letters were too risky," Bucky said.

Steve smiled slyly. "I have an idea."

Bucky smiled back. "You are wily as a fox and just as adorable." He fisted his hand Steve's collar and drew him in for a kiss.

Steve ran his fingers down Bucky's cheek. "I wish we could stay here longer. I would very much like to do all of that again."

Bucky sighed. "Soon."

Steve nodded. "Go. Await my message."

Bucky swung onto Winter and rode home in the early hours, the scent of Steve on his skin.

***

Bucky waited on tenterhooks for the next few days. Now that they had decided to run away, he just wanted it to happen. He still held guilt for Sharon but he wanted a chance to be happy with the man he loved.

A package arrived for him on the fourth day after he and Steve had met at the old cottage. He was sitting in the study and chewing on his pen fretfully when his father walked in.

"Why have you received a package from Carter's ward?" He waved a small rectangular parcel at Bucky. Before he could even answer, Mr. Barnes began to rip it open.

Bucky's stomach sank. If the package contained instructions from Steve on their escape together, this could all be over in an instant. "That is mine!" he exclaimed but his father ignored him.

In the package was a book: A Field Guide To Edible And Poisonous Mushrooms.

Mr. Barnes frowned. "What is this?"

Bucky snatched the book from his father before he could open it. "Steven has offered to teach me about the countryside and wanted me to read this book. Do I have your permission to do so?"

His father chuffed, said something about commoners masquerading as finery, and left the room.

Bucky collapsed into his chair in relief. When he opened the book, there was a thin envelope tucked between the pages. On the front it read in Steve's lovely script: _The best places to find mushrooms._

Bucky tore the envelope open.

_Bucky,_

_Peggy has found us passage on a ship departing in four days time belonging to a merchant captain who is willing to help us. Truly we will be leaving behind all we hold dear if we are to go. We cannot tell anyone where we are going lest we be intercepted. I do not think the Carters will look too hard for me but I fear your father would from sheer principle and spite. I know you are close with your sister - you may tell her you are leaving but not where. Should she ever wish to follow, Peggy will be able to help. I do not need to tell you that her reputation could suffer greatly should anyone find out. Please be as careful as you can. We will not be able to take much, only what we can carry on us. Respond with this book as soon as you can._

_I love you._

_Steve._

Four days. Bucky folded the letter and stuffed it into his inner jacket pocket. Four days to wrap up his old life and leave it all behind. He would not miss his father or this house; there was no joy here any more. He felt terrible for leaving Rebecca behind though. She was due to come for his wedding and would be crushed when she found out he was gone. He pulled out his pen and ink pot.

_My Dearest Rebecca,_

_Please accept my sincerest apologies. For a lot of things. For allowing Father to marry you to a man you do not love, for not being a better big brother when mother died. I feel like I could have done so much more for both of us but I was still a child myself when she passed and I let Father dictate our lives when I should have fought against him. I am so sorry._

_I am also sorry for what I am about to do._

_By the time you read this, I will be gone. I am leaving this place for love and I wish more than anything that you could have had the same. Please forgive me, my darling sister. I have met a man who has made me realise that we dwell too shortly on this Earth and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. To do this, I must leave. I cannot tell you where and it hurts me greatly. Please do not hate me. I love you so much and should I ever be able to come and get you, please know that I will be there in a heartbeat._

_I can tell you that should you ever be in a position to leave your husband and run into a lady called Margaret Carter, she will be able to point you in the right direction to find me. Destroy this letter but remember her name._

_Remember also that I love you._

_Your brother,_

_Bucky._

***

Bucky sent back the book with a short message confirming all Steve had arranged. The book once again made its way back to Bucky, by way of a courier, telling Bucky that Steve had arranged for two horses that they would ride from the cottage to a location known only to them and Peggy. From there they would be taken to the ship. They would meet at midnight once again at Steve's old home and leave together. Bucky packed his most important things: The photograph of him, his sister and his mother, a couple of old toy soldiers that he could not bear to part with, a silk tie that had belonged to his grandfather, his favourite book, a small wooden model of two children holding hands that Rebecca had whittled for him years ago, a few toiletries and some money that he had saved and hidden from his father from his teaching job. It was not much but he hoped that it would help he and Steve wherever they ended up.

His father was oblivious to everything and Bucky knew that he would be greatly shamed when everyone found out. He and Steve would be long gone by then and Bucky did not care. Let his father be shamed.

***

He sat and ate dinner with his father the evening before he would leave his house forever. Mr. Barnes rambled on about things he could not stand about the Carters, already ungrateful and finding fault. Bucky let the words wash over him.

 _I do not care, you horrid man,_ he thought to himself. _I am leaving soon and I never have to see you again._

"James! Do not sit there with such a gormless look on your face," Mr. Barnes barked.

Bucky looked his father in the eyes. "Forgive me, Father," he said, his voice bold and very much not asking for forgiveness.

Mr. Barnes glared at him but said nothing more, concentrating on his dinner.

Soon, it was bedtime. Bucky locked himself in his room and began to get ready. He shed his fine jacket, shirt and britches and changed into a single shirt and trousers, a pair of sturdy boots and a practical jacket. He checked his bag for his things and looked at his pocket watch - it was half past ten. He would collect Winter from the barn at eleven o'clock and ride to Steve's cottage. He would feel bad leaving the old horse at the Carter's but he would be found and taken care of. Winter was an inquisitive sort and when he grew bored in the trees where Bucky would leave him, would no doubt start to explore and look for people.

Bucky sat on his bed and breathed steadily. He had thought that when the time came to do this, he would feel scared and doubtful but he did not. There was no part of him that did not think it was the wrong thing to do. Steve had helped him to take control of his own life and yes, he would be letting people down, people who come to trust him but he did not think they would suffer too greatly. Bucky had written letters to Clinton and Samuel letting them know he would be away travelling. Should a scandal arise when he and Steve were discovered to have left together, he would write to them again in due course and explain.

He took one last look around his room and then checked his watch. It was eleven o'clock.

***

Steve was waiting for Bucky in the cottage, dressed similarly with his own bag slung over his shoulder. "I cannot believe we are doing this," he said, his eyes bright in the gloom of the little house. He sounded excited.

"I know," Bucky said and smiled, kissing Steve softly. "We are going to start a life together. It is more than I ever dreamed."

Steve grinned. "Do you know that I wished upon a falling star the night before I met you?"

"You must have wished hard enough for the two of us," Bucky said.

They embraced, each feeling the anticipation and trepidation in the other.

Steve looked around sadly at his old home. "Goodbye Mother. Goodbye Father. I hope I did you both proud."

Bucky's eyes welled up and he threaded his fingers through Steve's. "No son could have done his parents prouder."

Steve squeezed Bucky's hand. "Let us go. Peggy will be waiting."

They left the cottage and made their way to the small standing of trees where Winter was tied. Bucky patted the horse and kissed his snout.

"Goodbye, boy. Forgive me for leaving you."

"He will be alright," Steve said. "Our horses are waiting for us a mile from here."

As they started to walk, there was a snapping of twigs behind them. "Steven? James?"

They both whirled around together. Sharon was standing at the edge of the trees, a jacket over her nightdress. She stepped forward and looked to each of them in confusion.

Everything in Bucky crumbled: it was over. This is where is ended. He felt Steve tense beside him.

"Sharon, what are you doing here?" Steve asked.

"I could not sleep. I went to the kitchen to get a drink and I saw you running across the courtyard with your bag." She glanced between them both, realisation dawning. "You are going somewhere together."

"Sharon, it is not as it appears - " Bucky began.

Steve put a hand on Bucky's shoulder and cut him off. "No. Sharon, it is exactly as it appears. Bucky and I are in love. We are running away together."

Sharon blinked. "In...in love?"

"I am so sorry Sharon," Bucky said. "We did not mean for it to happen but...yes. We are in love. I never wanted this marriage and I cannot live a lie anymore."

Sharon watched him carefully, her face hard to gauge. "You believe _I_ wanted this marriage?"

I...do not know," Bucky said.

"My _father_ wanted this marriage, much in the same way that yours did. Most men seem to believe that all a woman is made for is marriage." She folded her arms. Bucky did not think he had ever seen or heard her appear so audacious.

Steve seemed to also be unsure. "Are you going to tell your parents that we left?"

Sharon brushed her hair from her face. "Steven, how long have we known each other?"

"I...twelve years, I believe."

"And do you believe me to be the kind of person to immediately run to my parents and tell them your business?"

Steve was growing even more confused. "No, not at all but this is your marriage, your future - "

"I think I would like to be the one to determine my own future, much as the two of you have determined yours." Her voice was hard but not angry. She turned to Bucky. "James, do you love me?"

Bucky shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "I...do not know you very well."

"Exactly! I hope you will not be hurt to discover that I do not love you. I like you, but I could never love a man that I had not fallen in love with for myself." She looked between the two of them. "As I'm sure you both understand."

Bucky smiled then. Truly, he had underestimated Sharon and felt shame at doing so. She was no fool. "Yes," he said and she smiled back, glad that he was starting to understand.

"Sharon?" Steve said, still perplexed.

Sharon took Steve's hands. "My dear Steven, I am happy for the both of you. More than I can say. This marriage was never my choice. It was my father's. Even my mother was angry when he told us as he did not even think to consult her first. Did you have any idea that she has been teaching me the ways of my father's business for the last five years?"

"Really?" Steve asked, shocked. Bucky laughed in delight.

"Yes. Women do not simply twiddle their thumbs and wait for a marriage proposal to give their lives purpose. Many women want to be given the chance to do the work of men to prove that they are as capable and intelligent at the job. You two eloping may give myself and my mother the chance we have been waiting for to step up and finally show my father what we are truly made of." She smiled and it was confident and powerful.

"We are not eloping exactly..." Steve said but then shook his head. "Why did you not tell me any of this?"

"Because Father had already decided on my future and I was angry. I wanted to cause a fuss but Mother taught me to bide my time, to learn what I could, to channel my frustrations into something productive. I know you would have understood but - and I apologise for this - you were the perfect distraction for Father to focus on. You and James. Women have to prove themselves so much more than men, if you had not noticed. You have both given me the opportunity to show my father and everyone else that a woman can be just as much as a man."

Bucky rested his hands on his hips. "Although I do not regret the current turn of events, how I wish I had known _this_ Sharon was hiding in plain sight."

Sharon laughed softly. "I did not wish to give away my hand. Now I wish I had." Her face was tender. "You are both really in love?"

Steve took Bucky's hand. "Very much."

"Then you deserve this chance to be happy. I will miss you dearly, Steven. You are my family."

"Oh Sharon," Steve said and took her in his arms. "Thank you," he whispered. They held each other and then parted.

Sharon gave Bucky a smile that was grateful and a little sad. "I do not think it would have been so bad to marry you, James."

"You are a remarkable woman. More than I gave you credit for," Bucky said. He took her hand and kissed it. "I would have been honoured to be your husband."

"Will you be alright?" Steve asked her.

"We Carter women are made of stern stuff. Correct me if I am wrong, but I suspect that you have had help with wherever it is you are going?" She quirked an eyebrow at them both.

Steve chuckled. "I think you already know the answer to that. I am sorry, Sharon. We cannot tell you where we are going."

"I understand. I hope you both find happiness. You should leave." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I will not tell anyone I saw you both."

"I can only apologise for the shame and embarrassment this will bring to your family," Bucky said.

Sharon sighed. "We will get through it. It will hit my father the hardest but he will soon discover just how resourceful his wife and daughter are."

"Bucky," Steve said. "We have to leave."

"Goodbye, Sharon," Bucky said.

She held up a hand and then turned and walked back towards the house.

Steve twined Bucky's fingers in his and they looked at each other for a moment before making their way through the trees to where their horses were waiting and indeed, the journey towards the rest of their life together.

***

Bucky awoke, knowing it was a swell that roused him from sleep. The waters had been very choppy in the last few days and so bad the night before that he and Steve had been thrown out of their small bed and to the cabin floor. Bucky was alone tonight though, Steve's side of the bed empty. He chuffed and sat up, knowing where Steve was.

It was cold up on deck, the spray of the sea sending misty plumes into the air and Bucky could taste salt each time he licked his lips. He shuffled to the prow of the ship and sure enough, there was Steve with his notebook, scribbling. Bucky slowed, allowing himself to gaze upon Steve before he knew Bucky was there. His blond hair had grown longer during their journey and he refused the crew's offers to cut it. He was constantly sweeping it out of his eyes but Bucky liked it. His own hair was still neat and short. Steve enjoyed stroking the hair at the back of Bucky's neck when they were lying together.

Bucky shuffled his feet so that Steve would hear him approach. Steve turned, his hair whipping about his head. His face lit up in a blinding smile.

"Bucky! You must come and see - there are different constellations! Look," he pointed upwards excitedly.

Bucky stood behind him and wrapped the blanket from their bed around Steve's shoulders. He followed Steve's finger.

"That is Pegasus, the flying horse and over there, that is Andromeda," Steve said. "We are in the Southern Hemisphere!"

Bucky held Steve from behind, resting his head on Steve's shoulder. "How do you know them?"

"One of the crewman, Banner, showed me. He knows all about the night sky." Steve tipped his head against Bucky's. "It is so beautiful," he said quietly.

"I love to watch you looking at the stars," Bucky said into Steve's ear.

They stayed like that together for a little while staring up at the unfamiliar sky.

"Do you think we will be happy, wherever we are going?" Steve asked.

Bucky turned Steve to face him and kissed him, softly and sweetly. "Wherever I am going to with you, I will be happy."

They kissed together under Pegasus as the ship sailed onwards.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little fic. I have three more on the go; I'm almost (almost) finished with another one so with any luck it won't be too long before I can post it.
> 
> This is also my 30th fic, which I can't quite believe. Thank you to everyone who has read and supported my work!


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